Need to Know
by shelly321
Summary: Set during season 3, after Damon tells Elena, "It's right, just not right now." Will continue to publish as time allows. Update finally - hope you like it... promise to wrap this up soon!
1. Chapter 1

Set after Damon tells Elena, "It's right, just not right now."

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><p>"What I need to know is this…"<p>

Damon's voice brought me out of a cloud of sleep, causing me to shake my head and shield my eyes against the light from my bedside lamp that he had apparently turned on, or maybe I had left on when I fell asleep, who knows, either way, it felt rude and intruding.

"Damon, what are you talking about? Better yet, what are you doing here – it's…" I pause to take a peek at my alarm clock which had not yet gone off, "Ugh, it's the middle of the night, or at least not really morning. Why are you here?"

I know it is useless to point out that his being in my room isn't appropriate; when was Damon ever appropriate and the night I let him spend the night and crawled into bed with him while we were recapping our efforts to set up the plot to take down Klaus, I pretty much gave up the right to object to his being here, invited or not. I sigh and push back the covers so I can sit up against my headboard, throwing him a withering look.

"What's so important that it couldn't wait until a decent hour before you came back here?"

Damon wiggles his eyebrows, "That question assumes that I ever left in the first place… where else do I have to go, Elena?"

I frown at his response and open my mouth, but before I can say anything, he continues, "Which is beside the point. What I need to know is this: why exactly you think this thing between us isn't right. I have my thoughts on the subject but I'd rather hear what you have to say. Is it because of my brother and your feelings for him or is it because of your feelings for me, keyly that you _don't_ want what I want? If Stefan had never been around and you had met me and come to know all you know about me, would you still be hesitant to be with me?"

I swallow, shaking my head, as if that motion will do me any good. I had fallen asleep thinking about what Damon said to me before he left, how confident he'd been in his words, _It is right, just not right now. _But something had shaken his confidence and was uncharacteristically weighting on his mind.

"Damon, I don't know. I think it has to do with my feelings about me, whether or not I can be that person who can fall for two brothers," I close my eyes, before continuing, "Whether I can be Katherine."

His breath comes out in a hiss as I say her name. Somehow it always comes back to her, my connection to her and my determination to not be her. Round and round we go.

"Elena, I don't know how many times this needs to be said, you will never be Katherine. You are the furthest thing from her and hopefully someday you'll see that and believe it. When I look at you, she is the furthest thing from my mind," Damon offers me a half grin. "But, Katherine or not, what I want to know is if – everything and everyone aside – I could be what you want. That, at the end of the day, you'd forgive me all the things I've done; that you can look beyond who I was and be with me. Because I am who I am and I've done all the things that I've done and most of it isn't pretty. Hell, a lot of it is downright loathsome."

At some point in his rambling, he sits down on my bed, his left leg bent up at the knee so it's resting there, just inches from my own leg, a detail I'm fixated on. Despite it being the middle of the night, or bad timing, I can't help feeling the palpable desire that seems ever-present between the two of us.

I let out the breath I don't even realize I'm holding, "You have been a monster, yes. But so has Stefan and while I didn't know that when I fell in love with him, I know that now and yet… I mean, it hasn't stopped me from loving him. What has impacted my feelings for him is how he gave up, how he found it easier to shut his emotions off than feeling all the pain and guilt so he could also fight to be with me. You're not the worse brother, Damon, not by any stretch of the imagination." Slowly I reach over and put my hand on his knee, hearing Stefan's words echoing in my ears, saying I was better than both Salvatore brothers. "You're not better than me. Your past will not be the thing that keeps me from being with you. But I need to be done with Stefan, all the way done, before I can move on. It's only fair to him, and to you and me."

We're both silent as we sit there, looking at each other, unsure of what else needs to be said at this point – we're not going to resolve everything tonight. Damon's eyes lock with mine and he leans in toward me, his hand coming to rest on top of mine, our fingers twining together automatically. I'm certain he's going to kiss me again, despite what I have just said and I'm less certain about what I will do about that because I can't imagine turning away from him, don't even know that I could or want to. But I don't need to figure out my response because instead of kissing me on the lips, he turns his head and surprisingly presses his lips against my cheek, his breath tickling my ear. The gesture seems more intimate than the lip-to-lip kiss I was expecting and I shiver involuntarily. He lingers there a moment and my stupid heart races, giving me away. I can feel his face curve up into a smile and I blush, knowing that thanks to my telltale heart, he is completely aware of the effect he has on me. A little chuckle escapes his throat.

"Thanks, Elena, that's all I need to know…"


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews… it's been ages (literally) since I exercised these writing muscles… I thank you for your reviews. Also to clarify, this is also taking place AFTER Stefan finds out that Damon and Elena kissed, but prior to Bringing Out the Dead.

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><p>"<em>Thanks, Elena, that's all I need to know…"<em>

I close my eyes for a second and when I open them, he's gone. It still amazes me how quickly he can move; I may never get used to it, among many other things.

"Seriously," I groan into the empty room and swing my legs over the side of the bed and onto the floor. Trying to go back to sleep would be pointless. A slight breeze comes in through my open window, making the curtains flutter and giving me my only indication of how Damon left my room. I get up and walk over to the window to close it. I swear that I can still smell him. It's not a scent of a specific cologne, it's just Damon; it's almost warm, if it were possible to smell warmth, with the slightest hint of woods and something else… it's comforting and I'm pretty confident I'm the only one who would ever notice it. Same as I'm the only one he seems to allow to see certain sides of him, well, not the only one – I know he lets Stefan in from time to time, as much as he fights against it. It's funny how much they both fight it, how much they pretend to hate each other when at the end of the day, they would each do anything to save the other. But that thought scares me, as it should, because it pretty much means I lose out; if push came to shove and they had to pick between me or their brother, they'd go with the brother and the way things are headed, I think we're going to hit shoving pretty soon.

The house is still silent and no doubt will be for a few more hours. Jeremy is gone and Alaric was still drinking when I went to bed last night so he'll be down for the count. Seems like a good chance to run over to Alaric's old apartment and take out some frustrations on the punching bag, seeing as how I can be fairly certain no hybrids would be joining me along the way. If the past few days were any indication, I'llhave at least 12 hours before the next big thing comes our way. That sad thought makes me laugh out loud and I think, 'How pitiful.'

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><p>I'm about 15 minutes into giving the bag a great beating when I hear the apartment door open behind me. I silently roll my eyes, 'so much for a moment of peace.'<p>

"Good morning, Elena, you're looking well…"

The voice sends chills through every bit of my body and I freeze, turning slowly, fists still raised.

"Now, now," Elijah smiles warmly, "We've always been cordial to one another, there's no need for that."

I lower my arms, sighing loudly. We both know they wouldn't have done me any good if he was in an unfriendly mood.

"Elijah, I'd say it's a pleasure to see you, but I'd be lying and that would be rude."

Elijah turns and shuts the door behind him, ignoring my comment as he surveys the room. "You've got quite the set up here. Niklaus would be flattered to think that you did this all for him. But my brother is prone to moments of over-confidence and vanity, wouldn't you say? Not unlike another brother you keep company with."

Before I can begin to wonder which of the Salvatore brothers he's referring to, he comes to a stop in front of me. He's uncomfortably close but I won't give him the satisfaction of backing away. His hand raises, as if to brush some hair out of my face but instead he just looks at me, hand hovering over my skin. I shudder ever so slightly, but don't break eye contact.

"It really is amazing how you _all_ look the same and yet you are all so very different." The impossibly old vampire pauses, savoring a memory, his eyes no longer connecting with mine, "But that is neither here nor there. I'm here to talk to Damon, I believe I have him to thank for removing my brother's little gift from my chest."

This is news to me and I can't help but show my surprise.

"I see you're as surprised as I was to find out that little detail, guess you two aren't as close as my brother indicated. No matter, Damon left me a note and said we should meet here this morning, though he did fail to mention a time. Looks like I'm early. Perhaps I'll come back in a little while and give you some time to continue hitting that bag," he waves dismissively towards the punching bag. "I am quite thirsty, after all, and I doubt you have anything you'd be willing to offer me, now would you?"

I shrug, trying to appear calm, which causes Elijah to smile, a smile that falters as I respond, "That is a shame, it would be so lovely to spend more time with you."

"Elena, Elena, careful there, I've always liked you but can't say I share my brothers' concern for your well-being. I'd tread lightly, months being cooped up in a coffin have made me uncharacteristically cranky."

With that he turns and almost glides out of the room. 'What the hell just happened?' I ask myself over and over as I tear the sparring gloves from my hands.

I grab for my phone and dial Damon's number, unsure where I will begin. I hear the line pick up and before he can speak, I'm yelling, "Thought you might want to know that Elijah's looking for you, Damon. It might have been nice if you had mentioned that you un-staked him when you were in my bedroom this morning. It kind of seems like something I would _need to know_. Seriously, Damon, what the hell!"

"My apologies for my brother's oversight, I suppose he had other things on his mind this morning, when he was in your bedroom." Stefan's voice rings in my ear, "Damon's in the shower at the moment. I'll be sure to tell him that you called. Anything else?"

"Nope, can't think of anything else." I will not let him get the best of me or needle me into saying more. "Thanks, Stefan."

"No problem, have a great day, Elena," Stefan's voice is hard and unrelenting. *Click*

I don't even bother wondering if this day can get any more bizarre because I know better than to wonder pointless things.

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><p>Thanks for reading... not sure how long this will go but don't worry - I always reward my readers in the end.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

_I thank you for your reviews. Also to clarify, this is also taking place AFTER Stefan finds out that Damon and Elena kissed, but prior to Bringing Out the Dead._

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><p><em>I don't even bother wondering if this day can get any more bizarre because I know better than to wonder about pointless things. <em>

Despite myself, I know I can't fault Damon for his impulsiveness; it's one of the things that draws me to him. I admire his complete lack of caring when it comes to what others think because I spend way too much time caring and wondering, sometimes frozen by the what ifs. But not Damon, he acts in the moment, to hell with everyone else. And sure, this often gets him in trouble – in trouble with me and everyone else – but it's not like he's never backed away from the consequences, he simply faces them head on.

I stop pacing around the room and sit down on the weight bench, bending down to put my head in my hands. 'Never a dull moment,' I think to myself. Just when I thought we'd have a 24-hour break in the action, leave it to Damon to spice things up.

I sit there for what seems like ages and again no time at all. I'm suddenly stuck, stuck in this moment in time, not wanting to leave Alaric's old apartment and risk running into anyone, or anything. Stuck in my thoughts, vacillating between being pissed at Damon about what he had done and for forgetting to tell me about it and then awed that he made such a bold move. And most definitely stuck in my feelings for the Salvatore brothers, not having a clue how to resolve that particular puzzle without hurting someone or everyone. Surprisingly, the one persons' feelings I'm not concerned with hurting is my own…

"Shit."

The word seems to hang in the air, sharp and unyielding.

Outside, a car horn sounds, bringing me out of my thoughts, reminding me that Elijah will be coming back at some point. I know that I don't want to be there when he reappears – despite how polite and thoughtful we have been to each other in the past, I know better than to trust an Original. Time to get going.

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><p>The house is still silent when I unlock the front door and go inside, for a moment I remember the noise that used to greet me when I came into this place I've called home my whole life. That past life seems so far away now. That we even bother locking our front door makes me laugh – the worst things in life can already get in, a pesky deadbolt would mean nothing to them. There's a note on the counter from Ric; he's at The Grille, no doubt drinking. I take a minute to send him a text: <em>Call Damon. He might need your help chatting with Elijah, who he un-daggered. Last night. Ugh.<em>

About five seconds pass before my phone chimes with his response: _Shit. I was just thinking about vacation options… what a buzz kill._

_Yeah, that's Damon for you, doesn't want anyone to have fun w/o him. Srsly, check on him. Or try to keep him in check._

_Better said than done, Elena, I'll try. Be safe._

I feel slightly better knowing a "responsible" adult has been clued in to the new development. I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time, glad my recently-adopted workout routine is paying off. Now is as good a time as any to take a shower, plus I feel like I need to wash Elijah's presence off of me. His closeness and words about us "all looking the same" were still giving me the creeps. His word choice implied more than myself and Katherine, but who in the world else was he talking about? Why not throw another doppelganger into the mix, nothing would surprise me.

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><p>After a hot, but all too brief shower, I dig through my closet, trying to find something to wear. My wardrobe is running short on near-death-experience-friendly options. I end up with a lightweight, grey pullover hoodie and grab a pair of jeans from the closet floor, checking them first for blood stains. I shake my head at myself, "This is what my life has come to."<p>

"I don't know, Elena, it's not looking too bad from where I stand," Stefan's voice startles me. I'm used to finding Damon in my room - have almost come to expect it - but Stefan's being here is slightly un-nerving. He used to be a regular fixture in my room, on my bed and now, he's as out of place as anything I could imagine. I turn quickly, clutching the towel to me. Stefan raises an eyebrow and purses his lips, "Really, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

"Yeah, well, things are different now," my words are hollow, they really need not even be said. "What do you want, Stefan?"

"Just wanted to tell you that I passed along your message to Damon."

"You could have just called, or texted even, texting would be great!"

"But then I would have missed all this," Stefan's tone is sarcastic, but his eyes lock with mine as he gestures toward me with both hands, palms open, like he wants to touch me but won't let himself. When he continues, his voice has softened, quieter in both volume and intent, "I've already missed enough."

"Stefan, don't…"

"No, you don't…" Stefan steps forward, reaching out one hand to loosely grasp the hand not holding up my towel. "Did you say that to my brother when he kissed you? Did you tell him to stop? Did you even think of me?"

"Did I think of you, Stefan? There hasn't been a moment in the last six months that I haven't thought of you. Hell, since I met you, you've been in my thoughts, in my heart, in my… my everything."

Tears are blurring my vision as I continue, "Can you say the same thing? Were you thinking of me while you were calling me a human blood bag? Or when you said my brother dying wasn't your problem? Or when you were threatening to drive me off Wickory Bridge?" I pause to swallow back my tears. "I don't fault you for saving your brother – either time – or even for your most recent ripper killing spree because you couldn't help either one. I can forgive all that. But when you chose not to fight for me, for us; when you gave up because it was easier on you, that was it. Damon is many things, but he's never been a quitter. His intentions and priorities have always been clear when it comes to me, even when it hurts him. And you can't hate him for this, for feeling how he does about me, because I promise you, he doesn't hate you for the very same thing."

"Sounds like you are the one giving up this time around, Elena," Stefan is still holding my hand, tracing circles on the back of it with his thumb. Two weeks ago I would have given anything to be in this place with him, to have him being open with his feelings. "Or are you just rewarding the brother who stuck around longest?"

"God, Stefan, it's not a competition. I am not a competition, I'm not some prize to be won, or stolen." I find myself gripping his hand now, trying to find the words. "I still love you, part of me might always love you but I can't be with you right now…"

"My brother made sure of that," his eyes flash with anger, for a moment I see a few dark veins pop out on his face but they are gone as quickly as they appeared. I bring my hand up to the side of his face and he closes his eyes when I rest it there.

"Damon could not change my feelings for you; you couldn't even change my feelings for you, though you tried your damnedest to make me hate you. But things are different now and they may never be right again and I have to let you go, I owe it to both of us. We'll only make each other hurt more; you have to see that, Stefan."

"Do you love him?" Stefan's question is barely whispered, had I not been so focused on him, I might not have heard it.

"Yes," I pull my hand away from his face, "You deserve to know that but also know this: it still doesn't mean I'm picking him over you, that I'm even picking him. Because love doesn't conquer all. It's just love. It's just a feeling."

"You used to believe differently…" He doesn't have to continue down that path, we both know he's the reason my view of love has changed; and that the last year has changed me in ways I may never get over.

We stand there in silence, still so close, our breath mingling together. I watch a tear slip down his cheek and I can't hold back my own, this is our end, for now or maybe forever.

"I love you, Elena."

"I love you, too, Stefan."

We owe each other this much, this goodbye. His arms come around me, pulling me to his chest. I tilt my face up, looking in his eyes, finally seeing the Stefan I fell in love with looking back at me. A sob catches in my throat and I lean closer yet, pressing my lips softly to his. I can feel his tears, they are cool against my skin. Our kiss deepens and if there was any doubt in me that moving on from him was wrong, it would be winning out but there is nothing but intense sadness and mourning in my heart. And I know that love is not enough.

"Well, isn't this sweet?" Damon's voice whispers from my bedroom doorway. I push Stefan away from me and look over to the cold, blue steel eyes glaring at me.

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><p><em>This is about Damon and Elena but she needed to end things with Stefan first. I promise the best is yet to come.<em>


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks again for the reviews… I agree that it stinks that Elena admitted she loves Damon to his brother and not him, but that will be addressed…

_"Well, isn't this sweet?" Damon's voice whispers from my bedroom doorway. I push Stefan away from me and look over to the cold, blue steel eyes glaring at me._

My stomach drops as I step back from Stefan another step. Damon can't have been standing there too long but that he's even here at all cannot be good. I'm terrified that he'll just bolt without listening to any kind of explanation and at this point, from where he stands, I don't know what explanation will diffuse his anger.

"Nicely played, brother," Damon breaks the deafening silence, clapping his hands together in polite applause.

"I learned from the best, Damon," Stefan smiles wryly and I shoot him a look, silently begging him to not make this any worse but I'm not certain he won't be able to help himself from egging Damon on and I can't say I blame him. I don't have to like what's coming next, but I'm not at all surprised. "I'm sure you understand my predicament, my brother falling for my girlfriend and all. You didn't think I'd just step back and let you have her, did you?"

"Hold on a minute," I interject before Damon can take the bait. "I'm not anyone's property and all of this isn't some game."

"But Elena, if it's not a game, then why do you play it so well? From where I stand, you're definitely the one winning." Damon's words are aimed to hurt me and they reach their target but I know he's just trying to lessen his own pain. "Don't let me keep you from what _you want_."

Damon moves to leave, thankfully not using his vampire speed, so I'm able to protest, "Damon, if you will just give me a minute, I can explain everything which is what I would have done when I saw you next, if you hadn't been here right now. Which is more than I can say for what you did with Elijah."

My words hit their mark and he stops; he knows I'm justified in being upset with him for not telling me about Elijah.

"All right Elena, you've got my undivided attention, please fill me in on your reunion with my brother," Damon crosses the room, shoulder brushing his brother aside and settles himself onto my bed. He folds his arms over his chest and looks at me icily.

I glance over at Stefan, "Do you mind giving us a moment?"

"Whatever you want, Elena," Stefan looks me squarely in the eye. "I'm sure we'll see each other soon, we do have Klaus and Elijah's deaths to plot and all." Turning his attention to Damon, he surprises both of us with his words, "Give her a chance to explain, Damon, she deserves that much."

Stefan swooshes out of the room, leaving me with just one heartbroken brother, hopefully I can fix that soon enough. Where to begin?

"So…"

"Make it quick, Elena, I've got an impatient Original waiting to meet with me."

I roll my eyes at him, "We'll talk about that particular can of worms later." I swallow and continue, still rooted in the same spot – this would be marginally easier to do if I wasn't standing here in just a towel. "I don't know how long you were standing there, but it doesn't really matter, you shouldn't have seen or heard any of it. Not that I wanted to keep it from you but it would have been easier to tell you after it all happened, to not have you jump to conclusions. I don't want to hurt you any more, Damon."

"Funny, I think your methods for avoiding pain might need a little tweaking," Damon raises an eyebrow as he spits his words out through gritted teeth.

"Stefan and I are done, what you witnessed was the end of it. The end of our 'epic' love, not the beginning of anything more," I can't help but tear up, my emotions are more than a little ragged. "I told you last night that I needed to be fully done with him before I could move on."

"Again, I'd argue that your methods are faulty. Exchanging 'I love yous' and kisses don't really signify moving on. They are more along the lines of let's get it on, wouldn't you say?" Damon arches his eyebrow once again and then, shaking his head, looks away from me.

"God, Damon, listen to my words," I move to stand in front of him, reaching to turn his chin up so he's looking at me. "Whether you believe me or not, that was goodbye. We are done right now, but that doesn't mean that I don't love him. I told him, and I'll tell you, that I might always love him but it's not enough. I can't help who I love. But it's just love."

"That's where you're wrong, Elena, it's not _just_ love," Damon stands up and takes the hand that is holding his chin in place. "At least not for me. But I think you can feel it too, feel what's here between us." He turns my hand so it's resting on my chest, over my heart, his hand pressed down on top of my own. "I don't just love you, Elena. But it doesn't matter unless you feel something, too; unless you want something, too."

"Damon, I can't… I mean, it would be so easy to just fall into this with you, but…" Betraying my words, my heart is racing.

"Careful, Elena, your heart is giving you away. Don't pretend you feel nothing."

"Damon, I'm not trying to pretend, I'm just trying to be levelheaded_," Trying not to fall in love minutes after saying goodbye to your brother_, I continue in my head.

Damon rolls his eyes, "You know how I feel about being levelheaded. Your head has nothing to do with love and if you're going to try and use it to figure this out for yourself, you're never going to find the answers. Follow your heart." To emphasize his point, he puts more pressure on the hand on my chest, causing my heart to pump even faster. "What does your heart say, Elena?"

And I want to just crash into him, to hell with the consequences, to hell with everyone else. But I meant what I said to him and to Stefan, I was not trading one brother in for the other. At least I wasn't being Katherine and stringing them both along, but I was also human and my humanity was causing me difficulty in not letting me give in completely to my feelings for Damon. Everything else around me was a mess and getting involved with Damon was just going to complicate things further, causing unneeded distractions for both of us. We need to have clear heads if we're going to survive this, otherwise we'll both end up dead.

Sighing, I shake my head, "I just need time, Damon, that's all. Just a little time."

"I'd say take all the time you need, but the future's a bit dark and uncertain," Damon smiles, finally letting me see that he believes what I've told him about Stefan and I. "But if that's what you need, I can give you that. Even so, if I'm going to step back, you need to tell me something…"

"Sure, Damon, what is it?" I close my eyes, unsure where he's headed.

"Tell me you love me."

"Damon, you know I do."

"No, Elena, I need to hear you say it, to know you feel it. Say the words to me, if you want me to give you time, I need to know it's not just something you're saying to let me down easy. Say the words. Because if you can't, if you don't…" He trails off and I'm surprised to see tears in his eyes.

Not even ten minutes ago, I had no problem admitting my feelings for Damon to his brother but I know once I say it to Damon, the stakes are raised and there is no going back, no unsaying those words. And I don't want to go back, could never go back, I'm just so scared to take the next step forward.

"Damon," I pull my hand out from under his and move it so it's on top of his, clinging to it, holding it there so he can have no doubt about what I'm going to say, "Damon, I love you."

The air around us seems to thicken almost instantly and I can practically hear my heart pounding, telling him that I mean it, that I'm not just saying the words he wants to hear but that I mean them with everything in me.

"I know." His eyes sparkle as he smiles at me. "I love you, too, Elena. I always will. Forgive me, but despite what I said about giving you time, I'm going to have to kiss you now."

Before he can make any move, I lean in and cover his mouth with mine. His right hand is still between us, while his left snakes around my back and pulls me against him. Our tongues tangle and my breath is trapped in my lungs. The fingers of his right hand dig into my collarbone and he moves his lips to kiss away his fingerprints. My left hand finds itself in his hair, my light skin alternating with his jet black hair – I'm mesmerized by the contrast and by his head against my chest. I close my eyes and my head falls back as his lips trail up my neck, a small moan escapes my lips.

"Careful, Elena, what would your head say about all this," I can feel Damon grinning. "You _do_ want to be levelheaded, right?"

I clear my throat, and breathe out. "Right, that's what I said."

"All right then," Damon releases me and smoothly skirts around me, moving to my bedroom door. "Good to know we're on the same page. Now, I've got an ancient bad guy to go catch up with."

His words bring me back to reality. For a small moment I forget about our latest impending doom; this is exactly the kind of distraction I was afraid of, though I'll make an exception this time around, since I did make the first move.

"Damon, do you know what you're doing there?" I hope he has some sort of master plan he's working from. "I'd tell you to be careful…"

"But you know better," Damon simply smiles. "Don't worry, Elena, I'm the only one who knows where the coffin is, I doubt they'll try and kill me… yet."

"Yeah, that doesn't really make me feel better."

"Well, I'm not really the 'lying to make you feel better' type, now am I?"

"No, you are not." I smile and grab his hand. "See you at the Grille after? I'm sure Alaric will still be there, so I think I'll go hang out with him."

Damon nods and leans into me, as if to kiss me again but stops, a wicked grin on his face, "By the way, nice towel, Elena. I completely approve of this outfit, anytime you want to model it for me again, you just let me know."

_What do you think? Review away._


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks again for the reviews… I just outlined the rest of the story and I think I've got about ten chapters all together… hope you enjoy them!

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><p><em>Damon nods and leans into me, as if to kiss me again but stops, a wicked grin on his face, "By the way, nice towel, Elena. I completely approve of this outfit, anytime you want to model it for me again, you just let me know."<em>

And then he's gone and I feel like I can breathe again, more like I'm gasping for air. The rush of emotions I feel when I'm around him is impossible to define – it's like everything hits me at once and I can't differentiate any of them. Love, passion, anger, friendship, understanding, desire, frustration… all mingled together, overwhelming me, how have I missed this before. Really, the question is, how have I been denying it? Things with him will never be easy and neat but it's pretty clear that without him they won't be right.

"Shit."

For the second time today I curse into an empty room. This cannot bode well for the rest of the day considering it's not even noon. I should have knocked on wood when I even ventured to think we'd have a break in the chaos that seems to surround us. Once again I wonder what life would have been like if I'd never met Stefan or Damon, if they'd never come back. But it's pointless, because without Stefan I'd be dead, either at Wickory Bridge or when Klaus inevitably came for me – they didn't bring the crazy, it came all on its own.

I quickly throw my clothes on and toss my hair up into a messy bun, ready to get to the Grille and eat some food, my stomach has started to growl and I remember I haven't eaten anything yet today. All the training in the world won't do me any good if I pass out from hunger.

* * *

><p>The Grille is pretty full when I get there but I spot Ric at the bar, no doubt drowning his enumerable sorrows.<p>

"Elena… about time you got here!" Ric appears to be happy drunk, another drink or two and he'll turn to sad drunk, perfect timing. "Damon hung up me like five times this morning. What a dick!"

"Yeah, that would definitely be a defining characteristic…" The words are out of my mouth before I consider the double entendre they imply. Great, happy drunk Ric is not going to let that one go.

"Ewww, Elena, I don't want to think about Damon's…"

"Shut up, that's not what I meant and you know it," I stop him before we're both embarrassed. "He's just… difficult."

"Like I said, a dick," Ric nods emphatically and raises his glass, toasting his own humor.

"All right, it's time we cut you off… as much as I don't judge, I need you a little more sober for the rest of the day. With Elijah out and about, I'd say we'd better be on our game," I snatch his glass away, glancing around to make sure no one's looking my direction and down his drink in one swallow. The amber liquid burns all the way down.

"Hey, did you not just listen to yourself?" Ric waggles his finger to chastise me. "Besides, I'm pretty sure the first chapter in parenting a teenager must say something about not sharing alcohol with them, because it's, what's the word… oh yeah, illegal."

"Well, I can't really give it back now, can I? You need to sober up but I need to take the edge off just a little bit, it's been quite a morning," I take a seat on the stool next to him.

"Right now I think I can take like the 30-second recap and then I gotta eat something so we can be back in working order." Ric motions the server over. "Can I get a bacon double cheeseburger with fries?"

"Make that two," I smile at Ric's raised eyebrow. "What – I'm hungry! And life is too short to only be eating salads and black bean burgers."

"I'm not judging at all," Ric laughs, "I just drank my breakfast, or at least my brunch."

"Yeah, you really should try to cut back, I am young and impressionable, you know." It's nice to goof off a little bit before things get serious.

"So the matter at hand… Elijah…"

"Yeah, Elijah. Damon de-stake-afied him, which became obvious when he stopped by your old apartment this morning while I was working out. He and Damon are meeting right now, I guess to try and take down Klaus, though I don't really trust him, but I guess he's as good of a bet as any."

"Have you seen Damon or Stefan this morning? After Damon hung up on me the last time, I tried calling Stefan and it went right to voice mail, I'm beginning to get a complex, I think those Salvatore boys have eyes for someone else." I wince as his words hit a little close to home and Ric raises yet another eyebrow. "I see, nice to meet you, _someone else_."

"Yup, that would be me. Let's just say we all had our fair share of heart-to-hearts this morning." I sigh and say the words I really never thought I'd say after everything we've been through, "Stefan and I are over, for real."

"And you and Damon are…?"

"Complicated," I shake my head as he looks at me with slight disapproval in his eyes. "What happened to not judging?"

"I didn't say anything, consider this a judge-free zone, but do you really think that's a good idea?"

"Do you really think I can avoid it? Or deny it?" I rest my forehead against the palm of my hand. "At least I ended it with Stefan first, I mean really ended it, we've been long over, I just couldn't believe it or let it go."

"Yeah, at least there's that." Ric leans over to bump me with his shoulder. "Just watch out for yourself."

"No worries, I think things are going to be just fine around here, I can't really see any trouble brewing on the horizon, can you?"

"Originals, scrimiginals," Ric grins and I know he's dropped the subject of Damon for now. "So did Elijah seem like he was in a good mood?"

"Elijah was, Elijah. I've never been able to really read him, he's just kind of resigned to his life, you know, almost apathetic, or apathetically stoic, if there was such a thing."

"You know, aside from the whole vengeful, stabbing us in the back part, totally apathetic." Ric takes a long drink of the water the bartender graciously put in front of him when she removed the last empty glass. "No, I do know what you mean. He's kind of a dick, too."

"This morning he was just looking for Damon but he said something kind of strange to me. Something along the lines of 'us all looking alike.' If he meant just me and Katherine, then I think he would have worded it differently. I guess it makes sense there are other doppelgangers, I mean, I know there were more Petrova's before the she-devil but I just never thought about them or thought that Klaus and Elijah knew them. And the way he said it was just creepy, like he was savoring a memory. Ick."

"That is strange, no one has ever mentioned other doppelgangers, just you and Katherine but Elijah's not really one to mis-speak. Let's add that one to the list. The ever-growing list of things I sure as hell don't understand."

Our food arrives and we dig in, happy for an excuse to be quiet with our own thoughts. We sit silently, but companionably, oblivious to anything else, seemingly focused only on eating. I polish off my fries with surprising ease and I'm over halfway through my burger when I realize things have gotten rather quiet in the Grille. 'That's strange, it's only 12:30, the lunch rush isn't nearly over,' I think as I turn in my seat to look around the room. And it's empty.

"Ric, something's going on," I jab him with my elbow. "Everyone's gone."

"What? What are you talking about," Ric looks to me before turning his attention to the rest of the bar. "Well, shit, I was hoping to finish my lunch, something tells me that isn't going to happen now."

"By all means, don't let me stop you, I've got all the time in the world," Klaus' cold, calm voice echoes across the room as he steps out from the dark shadows back by the bathrooms. "I was merely clearing the room of any collateral damage, lately you never know who could get hurt. Don't want Stefan mistakenly taking someone's head off because he thinks they're one of my hybrids. I know how you hate for things to get messy, Elena. Now eat up."

"That's okay, I've suddenly lost my appetite." I scowl at Klaus, trying to look unphased by his presence here when my heart is freaking the hell out.

"What can we do for you today?" Ric coolly asks.

"Just wanted to catch up, I feel like we never talk lately. Interesting things keep happening like brothers coming back from the dead… wondering if you'd run into my dear old brother, I seem to have lost track of him," Klaus is standing right in front of us now and reaches his arm behind me to lean against the bar and for once I'm able to keep myself from shuddering. "Wouldn't want you all to be conspiring against me, now would I?"

"Let me think… he kind of looks like you, slightly more muscles and about ten percent less evil," Ric shakes his head, "Nope, haven't seen him. What about you, Elena?"

I lock eyes with Ric, careful not to turn towards Klaus so nothing belies my words, "Me neither. Hope you find him soon, I'd imagine you have some catching up to do. Maybe a little explaining about the dagger in his chest, your dead father and oh yeah, your killing your mother, you know, family bonding type stuff. I could recommend a counselor."

"Careful, Elena, just because I need your blood doesn't mean I need you to be _living_ _a life_," Klaus brushes his hand over my shoulder, resting it on my shoulder blade.

"Leave her alone, Klaus," Stefan's voice rings out from the front door. "This is between us, not them."

"Oh, I think the time is well passed to be excluding others from our little game," Klaus taps his fingers on my back as he addressed Stefan. "I was always better as a team player, just ask my brother."

"That's where you're wrong, brother, you never did like sharing and you were always changing the rules in the middle of the game."

I look up and behind Stefan are Elijah and Damon. Damon's eyes seek out mine and he nods ever so slightly, I hope indicating that Elijah's on our side. Or at least that he thinks Elijah's on our side. Having everyone together makes me question whether any of this is a good idea, it seems more like the recipe for a disaster.

"That does sound like me, you know me too well, Elijah." Klaus is noticeably more on the defensive, he's shifted his relaxed posture of a few minutes ago and is now standing, shoulders squared in his brother's direction. I'm glad to have his attention off of me, but all I can think of is how we're going to get out of this.

Damon steps out from behind Stefan, cutting the distance between us in half, "Speaking of game-changing moves, it's been so insightful chatting with your brother. We've been discussing our options and he's interested in hearing Stefan and I out. We have a proposal of sorts. Care to join us? Someplace, less… informal? Let the townsfolk get back to their daily routine."

I have no idea what Damon has up his sleeve and I don't know if I'm more scared or relieved to think that he has some sort of plan.

"What do you say, Klaus," Stefan pipes up, moving forward to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Damon. "You were so keen on hanging out with me a few weeks ago – best buddies and all."

"Very well, it does seem that I haven't invited you over to my new place yet, wouldn't want to be inhospitable." Klaus turns back to me, freezing me with a sinister raised eyebrow. "Remember what I said, Elena, you're _here_ out of the goodness of my heart. And the heart is a fickle thing."

He leans in and kisses my cheek and I almost reach up and wipe it off like a petulant child. I can see his gesture has riled up both Damon and Stefan; Stefan reaches to grip Damon's arm and hold him back. Klaus brushes past them on his way to the door. "Let's not dawdle, gentlemen, I'm eager to get my coffin back and I might quickly grow weary of the idea of talking."

Stefan gives me a half-hearted smile and turns to leave. Damon doesn't follow, but crosses the room to take me in his arms and I exhale against his chest, then take in his scent with my next breath. He, too quickly, lets me go, "I'll be back in a little bit, I gotta go take care of some things."

"Damon, please," I look up at him, pleading with my words and my eyes, "Please promise me you'll be careful. Klaus isn't…"

He cuts me off with a finger to my lips, "You worry too much, Elena, you're going to give yourself wrinkles." He presses his lips to my forehead and then moves so fast I hardly feel his lips against mine, but they tingle with even the briefest of touches; I'm half-certain Ric doesn't even know what Damon has done. "I'll see you soon." And then they are gone.

* * *

><p><em>What fun characters to write - I loved Elena's relationship with Ric on the show...<em>


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry this chapter has taken so long to get written – life gets in the way of entertainment and creativity.

* * *

><p><em>He cuts me off with a finger to my lips, "You worry too much, Elena, you're going to give yourself wrinkles." He presses his lips to my forehead and then moves so fast I hardly feel his lips against mine, but they tingle with even the briefest of touches; I'm half-certain Ric doesn't even know what Damon has done. "I'll see you soon." <em>

And then they are gone.

All of them are gone and I sure as hell would love it if only half of them returned.

"Well, that was a fabulous little reunion, I wonder how I can get off that mailing list," Alaric offers me a half-hearted grin. "You okay? You didn't get any creepy old original vampire germs on you or anything?"

I only shrug and offer the same half-hearted smile back at him, "I don't like this."

"Me neither, but what can we do, it's probably better that we humans sit this one out. I don't really want to keep testing my ring out on a regular basis, you know?" He stands up and grabs his jacket, "We should probably get out of here before everyone comes back and wonders why we're the only ones here."

I stand to join him as my phone vibrates with a text. I smile when I see it's from Damon but frown at the contents of his message: _Bennett witches on the Lockwood property, down in no-go-vamp tunnels with something you might be interested in seeing. See you soon. Kisses._

I hate that Bonnie and her mom are so deep in all this; hate that everyone is in this messed up situation because of me. Caroline's a vampire because Katherine wanted to send a message, Jenna, John and Isobel are all dead along with a handful of my classmates, Matt's life is totally screwed up and Jeremy is half a country away. And yet they still love me, would still fight for me and put themselves in danger. Hopefully someday I can repay them, make it up to them for all they've been put through. But how to you undo it all, make all of this right? I have no clue.

"Well, I know where we're off to next," I sigh, showing Ric my phone. "Never a dull moment."

* * *

><p>"Hey Bonnie, fancy seeing you here," I call out ahead of us as we approach the part of the tunnels where I know she'll be, not wanting to catch them by surprise. "Damon sent us."<p>

We turn the corner and while I expect the coffin to be there, I'm still taken back by the scene in front of us. Candles are burning in every corner of the space with the coffin in the middle and white powder in patterns on the ground all around it. Bonnie and her mom look exhausted, like they've run a marathon and followed it up with 5K.

"Hey Elena, I'm guessing Damon sent you, considering he's the only one who is supposed to know we're here," Bonnie frowns. "Is it a good idea that you're here?"

"The hell if I know, but I'm guessing he probably thought I was safer here than anywhere else, though whatever is in the coffin might not be friendly so I guess it's a toss up." I give my friend a hug and smile warmly at her mom. "So, it doesn't look like you've had any luck."

"Not yet but it feels like we're getting closer," Bonnie wraps her arms around her body. "I don't know how to explain it because the coffin hasn't changed a bit but I just feel like we're closer, like something's happening. Where's Damon? How did his meeting with Elijah go?"

I raise my eyebrows, surprised that Bonnie knows about Elijah, "What? Am I the last to know things around here? When did Damon tell you about Elijah?"

"About five this morning when he came and woke us up and told us to get to work with the coffin. He said he was going to try and keep stalling Klaus and Elijah but he wasn't sure how long we'd have. He said he was meeting Elijah this morning to offer him an alternative solution to the problem at hand or to see if he could get him to turn on his brother. Do you know what the plan is?"

"I definitely do not know what the plan is, I didn't even know Elijah was back in the living, or un-living as it is, until he stopped by Ric's this morning while I was working out."

"Lovely, that must have been a nice moment for you." Bonnie wrinkles her nose. "Nothing like a surprise visit from someone who screwed you over."

"I've had my fair share of surprise visits in the last 24 hours..." I trail off, not wanting to get into it all at the moment, not with more pressing things literally in front of us. "I don't want to distract you from this, maybe if you can get it open, this can all be over." But my words are filled with doubt, I know better than to hope that this will soon be over.

"Oh, I welcome the distraction, do tell... who else was visiting you since yesterday?"

I smile at Bonnie and because I've missed the normalcy of girl talk, it all comes out in a rush, "First Damon woke me up this morning wanting to talk about 'us' and then Stefan showed up in my room earlier this morning and we finally ended it properly, not because someone was out of his mind or dying and then Damon came back and saw us having out final kiss goodbye. But instead of pulling a normal Damon vanishing act, he stuck around and heard me out and we ended up... well, confessing our love for each other."

Bonnie's eyebrows raise ever so slightly and she just reaches out and pulls me in for another hug, "Girl, what am I going to do with you? Remember when the biggest drama was what color dress you were going to pick for homecoming with Matt?"

I laugh and shake my head at myself, "I know, it's crazy, right?"

"Insane would more likely be my choice in words, but whatever I think about Damon, he is totally head over heels for you and we could all benefit from someone loving us that much. I just wish he wasn't so Damon-y."

"But then..."

"But then you probably wouldn't love him, right?"

"Hey, ladies, I'm all for look at this girl talk and bonding stuff, but I think I found something interesting over here." While we were talking, Ric has been shining his flashlight around the tunnel ceiling, looking at the drawings that had first helped us figure things out with Klaus and his murderous ways. He's standing under a section depicting what we thought was Klaus' mom's funeral. The witch's symbol is on a box and that is surrounded by a ring of interlocking symbols, ones we hadn't figured out the meaning of yet. "These symbols around the coffin look like this one you guys drew on the floor. What does it mean?"

Bonnie's mom speaks for the first time, "That's the symbol for our family, passed down from the first witch in our line. I always wrote it down when I was working on a difficult spell, I just thought I'd put it on the floor here to do kind of the same thing. It helps direct my thoughts."

"Then I think I figured out this symbol, the first witch was either at the funeral or she was the one who sealed the coffin."

Bonnie's eyes light up at the same time as her mother's and the elder Bennett grabs a grimoire and flips it open, "I think I know what spell we need to work from... there is something about the familial bond and calling upon our line of witches that we come from... if our ancestor spelled it shut, we can open it building from that spell. We can do this together, Bonnie. That's why you dreamed about me, we're the only ones who can open it."

"Okay, let's get to work," Bonnie takes her mother's outstretched hand and I can't help but feel chills to think that Bonnie, who had lost her mom for so long, as finally gotten her back. I would give anything to hold my mom's hand again, to tell her that I love her and that I'm sorry for everything that has happened.

"We're probably better off not being here, right," Ric comes back over to us. "Not that I don't want to be in on the big reveal, or anything, because that would be like the highlight of this already stellar year. But..."

I continue on for him, "We'd just get in the way. Besides, we should go wait for Damon and Stefan to see what happened with Klaus and Elijah."

* * *

><p>Ric and I head home after Bonnie promises to text or call as soon as they get the coffin open and we promise to let them know once we hear from Damon or Stefan.<p>

At home, I leaf through the mail that has gathered for the past few days in our forgotten-about mailbox, Alaric throws himself on the couch and flips on the TV.

"Really, you can watch TV right now?" I roll my eyes at him.

"Why? Would you rather we had a nice chat about you and vampire-fueled love life?" Ric grins as I shoot him an evil look. "I didn't think so. But for the record, Damon might be a dick and he might try to kill me on a regular basis, but Bonnie's right, he really does love you and that has to count for something. But, don't forget, you're only eighteen with your whole life ahead of you."

"Well, the 'whole life ahead of me' part might be jumping the gun just a little bit, given our present circumstances." I plop down on the couch next to him. "And honestly, I can't say that I have a whole lot of confidence in love either, it certainly hasn't served me too well up until now. Love hasn't kept the people in my life alive and it hasn't kept the man I loved from going completely off the rails, nor did it get him to come back to me. Love kind of sucks."

"Yeah, it kind of does but it's also pretty wonderful," Ric gives me what-can-you-do look. "I've never regretted loving Isobel or Jenna, no matter what heartache that love brought me and no matter how much it seemed to fail me, it was still love and amazing while I was in it. Love doesn't fix everything, but having that connection with someone isn't to be ignored and if it can be ignored, then it's just not strong enough, Elena. I know you loved Stefan and I'm quite certain he loved you, but maybe it just wasn't the love you needed, the love that completed you."

"Did you just go all Jerry Maguire on me, Ric?"

"Yes, yes I did... and I'm not going to apologize for it, just be glad I didn't pick another Tom Cruise movie and start serenading you a la Top Gun," Ric bounces to his feet, holding the remote to his mouth like a microphone. "You've lost that lovin' feeling..."

"Oh God, please stop!" I find myself laughing for the first time in days. "You are ridiculous."

"And you are welcome..." Ric sits back down. "That's what misguided, pseudo-father figures are for, comic relief in the midst of a crisis. Mission accomplished... now, doesn't mindless television seem like a good idea?"

"If you insist," I shake my head at him and find myself stifling a yawn behind my hand, it has already been a long day and it's not nearly over.

* * *

><p>I must have drifted off because the next thing I know I'm awoken to the sound of hushed voices in the kitchen. My neck is killing me from sleeping awkwardly against the arm of the couch.<p>

"There wasn't anything I could do, Ric, he would have killed both of us, or Elena," the sound of Stefan's voice has me on my feet in a flash.

Stefan doesn't look harmed in any way but the look on Ric's face tells me things are not good. "What's going on? Where's Damon?"

Stefan looks at Ric, who looks back at him with the same impossible, serious expression, like they are trying to will the other one to break the bad news to me.

"Tell me what's going on," I put my hand on Stefan's arm. "Is Damon all right? He didn't do anything stupid did he?"

Stefan twists his arm out from under mine and wraps both of his hands around the tops of my arms, "He's with Klaus, he stayed with Klaus."

In an instant, I'm brought back to when Katherine told Damon and I that Stefan had given himself over to Klaus. This cannot be happening again. "What does that mean? Why didn't he leave with you?"

"He couldn't, at least not without leaving his life behind. Klaus was not amenable to the terms of our agreement for peace, keyly, he wasn't about to be leaving town without you or his coffin. But I think he was tired of negotiating because he gave us the choice, either Damon give him the coffin or Damon would die."

"What? He can't do that... Damon's the only one who knows where the coffin is, what would be the point in killing him? Why not..." I stop myself before I say the next word.

"Why not what, Elena," Stefan's hands drop to his sides. "Why not me?"

"That's not what I meant, Stefan, and you know it," I bring my hands up in protest. "It's just that it doesn't make sense."

"I think that Klaus knows that Damon's the trump card now, the key to getting you to do what he wants. He probably figures that one way or another, you'll get Damon to tell him or that you already know and you'll give up the coffin rather than let Damon be killed." Stefan's sees my face. "And he wouldn't be wrong, would he, Elena?"

"I can't... we can't let him die, Stefan," I turn and start heading toward the door. But before I can even take a step, I feel Stefan's arms come around me.

"No, Elena, you can't leave, you can't go to them or to the coffin."

I'm still stuck in the same spot, struggling against Stefan's impenetrable grip. "What then... we just stay here and let him die? We do nothing? For what? For revenge? Is it worth it, Stefan, to let your brother die just so you don't give Klaus what he wants?"

Stefan's grip loosens, but he doesn't let go, "No, but we need to have a plan, we have some time. Klaus and Elijah have promised that we have until tomorrow morning to get them the coffin, until then they won't kill Damon. And I'm guessing Bonnie and her mom are working on the coffin, right?"

Every inch of my body is aching for a fight, wanting to spring into action and rescue Damon. Which sounds completely ridiculous when I let myself go there, who am I against an all-powerful hybrid and his equally powerful vampire brother. And yet I would run in there for him, to hell with the consequences, I will not give up without a fight and I would gladly give them what they want. I am most definitely a liability, the weak link in this whole chain of things, Klaus was not wrong.

"Okay, I'll stay here, but if Bonnie and her mom can't get that coffin open, I'm going there and I'm telling them where it is." I look into Stefan's eyes, letting the tears that have been threatening to fall finally run down my face. "He can't die, Stefan. We can't let him."

"I won't let him die, Elena, I promise you. But I'm not letting Klaus win without a fight."

Stefan finally lets me go and I pick up my phone from where I left it on the entryway table, checking for a message from Bonnie. The screen won't come on and I realize it's probably been a day or two since I charged it.

"I need to go plug my phone in, the battery is dead," I'm running up the steps before Ric or Stefan can object. I need a moment to myself to pull my thoughts and emotions together. Again I curse myself for thinking today was going to be a "down" day from all the supernatural drama.

My charger is in still plugged in on the bathroom vanity so I sit down on the closed lid of the toilet, giving my phone a couple minutes before I switch the power on. I lean my head against the cold tiles of the bathroom wall, closing my eyes and hoping to calm my nerves. The phone vibrates to life and after a few seconds I see the light flashing to indicate that I have a message.

It came five minutes ago from Bonnie: _Coffin open. We were knocked out and now it's empty. We'll be there soon._

Pulling the charger from the wall, I run into my bedroom, shouting for Stefan and Ric. A dark figure in front of my window stops me dead in my tracks.

"Hello, Elena. It's about time we met."


	7. Chapter 7

This is so not the part of the story that I enjoy – the supernatural bit but this story headed in this direction, hopefully I can do it justice.

* * *

><p><em>"Hello, Elena. It's about time we met."<em>

And that's the last thing I remember before everything went black. Who knows how much later, I wake up, assuming it's still the same day and making it the third time I've woken up today confused about what's going on. It doesn't feel like time much time has passed but then, I was knocked out so I'm really not the best one to be judging these things. The room around me is pitch black and I can feel something around my ankle. I reach down and my fingers hit a heavy metal ring secured around my leg, attached to a chain. I give it a tug and hear the chain clank but not give way. I'm stuck. I sit up, feeling around me, trying to get my bearings. The ground is rough and uneven; it feels more like stone than hard dirt.

I hear a groan off to my right and immediately tense up, hopeful whoever it is can't see me any more than I can see them. My heart is beating quick and loud; I press my hand against my chest, as if I could quiet it, as if anyone else but me can hear it.

"Elena, is that you?" Stefan's voice croaks from the same place I heard the groan. "Are you all right?"

"Stefan, how did you know…"

"I'd recognize your heartbeat anywhere, side effect of being a vampire," Stefan actually chuckles.

"So glad you can laugh about this. What's going on? Where are we?"

"I don't have any idea, last thing I remember was running into your room after I heard you scream and I suddenly got one of those witchy migraine things that Bonnie is so fond of," I can hear Stefan shifting around and the same metal clanging that I just made, only he gasps as if in pain. "Damn vervain. So, you didn't answer my question, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I guess," I reach up to feel around my head, thinking I must have a bump or something to indicate how I was knocked out. "I don't even have a headache. I was awake one minute, running to get you and then I was out and waking up here."

"What were you yelling about?"

"What… oh, Bonnie texted me, she said they got the coffin open but were knocked out and when they woke up the coffin was empty so they were coming to the house. I hope they're okay. And Ric, what about Ric, was he with you?"

"No, at least I don't think so, he had just run outside to grab something from his car when you yelled out. He should be okay, with his super ring and all. Even if he did put up a fight with whoever took us, I'm going to guess they were supernatural."

"Yeah, he likes to test it out." I concentrate on where I can hear Stefan's voice coming from but have no luck in seeing a damn thing. "Can you see anything?"

"No, not really, just kind of a darker blob in the midst of all the rest of the darkness."

"I take it I'm the darker blob?"

"Let's not get vain now, Elena, it doesn't suit you. Besides, we have more important things to do like figure out how to get out of here. Any thoughts?"

"Me? You're the plan-maker here, I'm just to run into danger person. Besides which, you're also the older and seemingly wiser one of us, this is your ballgame."

Before Stefan can answer, we hear a thumping sound, which I quickly determine to be footsteps coming from someplace outside of where we are. I can't be certain if it is above or next to us, just that it isn't in the same room. Instinctively I reach out in Stefan's direction, hitting the toe of his boots with my fingertips. It seems silly, but I cling to that bit of contact, silently praying the sound is coming to rescue us, but knowing we're not likely to be that lucky.

The sound stops suddenly and a door swings open behind Stefan, flooding the room with light. I hold my free hand up to block the light, squinting to try and see who is coming in.

"Elena… Stefan… my apologies for the way I've had to bring you here," It's a woman's voice, I realize it's the same as the one I heard before in my room so we're probably not getting rescued. "I'll explain it all to you in a minute but first I have to take care of two things."

From behind the woman, whose face I still can't see because of the light flowing in behind her and making her face dark, two bodies seem to float into the room. They are levitating in the air and the woman makes a motion with each of her arms as if to cast something into the room. The bodies follow her motions and glide onto the floor in front of her, opposite from where Stefan and I are chained up. Another flip of her wrists and metal rings fasten themselves to the ankles of our new cellmates. The woman chants a couple lines that sound similar to things I've heard Bonnie saying when she's casting a spell and suddenly countless candles around the room are alight with flames, illuminating the entire room.

I glance around me but don't recognize where we are as any place I've ever seen. My eyes lock with Stefan's and he shrugs, unsure of what to do next. I quickly shift my gaze to the two still bodies on the floor, one I recognize as one of Klaus' hybrids but the other isn't at all familiar. Lastly, I turn my attention to the unknown woman, though I'm now quite certain she's a witch and have a strong feeling she's the Original mommy.

Her next statement confirms it, "I'm very sorry for all the trouble my son has caused you, it would seem he's gotten a little out of control in the past thousand years, but then, he never was one to regulate himself. Always a boy, and never a man, that one. Not like Elijah who was an old soul from the moment he was born. My sons, they could not be more different and their two brothers were just as different yet. But then, you know a thing or two about family differences, don't you, Mr. Salvatore?"

The woman turns to face Stefan and I notice as the skirt of her dress twirls about her legs that her clothing is dated and old. I'm creeped out, thinking how the last time she was walking on this earth it was so very long ago; I can't help see her as a corpse raised from the dead, rather than awaken from an impossibly long sleep.

"You know a lot for a woman who has been dead for a thousand years," Stefan quips.

"Perhaps, but death is sometimes not really death, wouldn't you say. I mean, you're not really alive at the moment, are you and then again, you're not really dead either."

Our captor turns her attention to me. "You are quite lovely my dear, just like the first of your line, the beautiful Tatiana, who captured the attention of another set of brothers. My sons were equally in love with her and equally disappointed when she didn't choose just one of them. But her greed was her undoing, since she didn't want to pick, I made it possible for her to be with both of them for eternity and fed them her blood to make them into the beings they are now. Poetic, don't you think?"

I really don't have any idea what to say to her, this woman who has both the misfortune of being Klaus' mother and the responsibility of having created him. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you want me to say… ma'am?"

"Oh, we can do without those formalities, you can call me Esther if you wish to call me anything. As I was saying, it's poetic that her blood created them and now we come full circle because it will be your blood that destroys them. And theirs, too," Esther moves her hand in a circle around the room, motioning to Stefan, along with the other two bodies on the floor.

I'm stunned into silence, not sure if she's indicating that she intends to kill me or use my blood like her son has already done, either way I don't think we're walking out of here unharmed.

Esther walks back to the doorway, turning to look back at us, "I'll be back soon, the moon is nearing its apex and your companions will soon be awake and then we can begin the ritual so I can right the wrong I created and take my son apart piece by piece."

The door closes behind her with a solid thud, but thankfully the candles have remained lit.

"Well, wasn't she quite polite about all that, I can see where Elijah gets his propriety and certainly where Klaus gets his drive, she didn't waste any time getting down to business once she was out of that coffin. Piece by piece, she makes it sound like a lovely little puzzle that she's putting together." The dullness in Stefan's voice belies the confidence of his words.

"Stefan, what are we going to do? What do you think is going to happen to us?" Unlike Stefan, I sound as desperate as what I'm saying.

"I don't know." Stefan's words hang in the air as we stare at each other.

The momentary silence is broken up by moans coming simultaneously from the bodies lying on the floor in front of us. The hybrid sits up first, yanking wildly at the chain holding him to the ground.

"What the hell is going on?" He turns his deathly scowl on me, eyes wide with recognition. "What are you doing here? Where are we? Does Klaus know what's going on?"

"Probably not since our being together is meant to kill him somehow," Stefan speaks up, thankfully drawing the hybrid's chilling gaze away from me. "His mother brought you here."

"She's dead. You're lying, Klaus said not to trust you." He spits the words out, as loyal as any soldier to his cause.

"He's not lying, she's not dead anymore, she's back," I say, hoping my voice doesn't sound as frightened as I feel.

The unknown entity finally joins us in sitting up, rolling his shoulders to stretch them. "It sounds like you guys already know each other, but why don't you fill me in. I was…" he pauses, sounding unsure of how to continue. "I was… hiking in the forest and suddenly, bam, here I am, definitely not alone in the forest."

"You're the werewolf." Stefan states calmly.

"Don't know what you're talking about, dude," our new "friend" seems suddenly very uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. "I'm just a guy."

"Bullshit. You're a werewolf. I'm a vampire. He's a hybrid. And she's a doppelganger." Stefan sounds sad, "Together we make Klaus who he is, each piece of him."

"And together, you'll be his undoing," Esther's voice rings out from the doorway though I hadn't even realized that it opened again. "Very good, Stefan, you figured out the elements of my recipe. Though finding a plain old werewolf on short notice was more difficult than one might think, especially since my son was intent on building his army of hybrids, thankfully he hadn't found this one."

"Mike, my name's Mike, and give me a few more minutes and you won't be thinking of me as just a plain old werewolf."

"Easy there, dear, I think you'll find that I'm more than equipped to handle the likes of you, no matter how tough you think you are." Esther rubs her hands together every so lightly and sends Mike writhing on the floor in agony. "All right then, shall we begin?"

"Wait, please, are we going to die," my voice squeaks out. "Are you going to kill us?"

"Not all of you, my dear, it all depends on how much of each of you it takes to kill my dear son," Esther turns to the hybrid whose name I don't even know. "I'm sorry to say that you will be giving up your life tonight, darling, it must be done, he's you more than anyone else here, even me."

The hybrid seems uncharacteristically scared, reminding me that we all started out human at some point, afraid to die.

She turns her gaze on me, "I'm afraid you might not make it either, my dear, you're just not as strong as the rest of them."

"No!" Stefan leaps to his feet only to be knocked back down with the slightest of glances from Esther.

"Yes, it must be done this way, Stefan, it's the only way to get rid of my son, to ensure he dies tonight. It's in your benefit, I see he's having quite a time entertaining your brother, though I'm not sure your brother finds it very entertaining. Want to see?"

Esther walks between all of us to the wall opposite the door and grabs a candle from a nearby shelf. She starts chanting, as she speaks, the flame grows so that it's the same size as the wall she's standing in front of and with a flick of her wrist the flame covers the wall and seems to turn into something similar to a television screen, giving us a visual access into what appears to be Klaus' living room.

Damon is tied to a chair in the middle of the room, blood running from cuts on every exposed stretch of bare skin and bleeding through his clothing everywhere else. His head hangs down so his chin rests on his chest, he looks barely alive. Klaus is nearby, feeding on some poor girl, stopping only to shout in Damon's direction. Sadly, Esther's impressive magic show doesn't come with sound so we can't hear what he's saying.

"I know Klaus promised to keep Damon alive but remember, the morning comes sooner than you think and my son never was one to be patient for any longer than necessary and he certainly isn't one to deal honorably with anyone, just ask his brothers."

I choke back a sob but I can't take my eyes from the scene that's playing out in front of me like some twisted silent film. Klaus has finished with his "drink" and has turned his full attention back to Damon, taking a poker he'd had heating in the fireplace and jabbing it into Damon's upper thigh.

"Make him stop," I hear myself crying out. "Do it, do whatever you have to do. Just don't let him die."

"As you wish, Elena, it's time."

"Elena, Damon would never forgive himself if you died for him," Stefan's voice demands I look at him, pulling my eyes away from the man I love. "If she lets us go I can get there and save him. We'll get Klaus some other way."

"No, Stefan, this is it. I've waited too long for this and I know that the time is right. It's perfect because he's distracted, he probably won't even notice how weak he's getting until it's too late and then he'll be too far gone." Esther's voice is cool and collected as she describes her son's demise. "I will be as careful as I can, I'll use the hybrid up first to and then draw equally from each of you; it will give you three the best chance of survival but I make no promises, my priority is getting rid of Klaus, nothing else. Now, shall we begin?"

She doesn't wait for a response as she turn to stand in the middle of us, raising her hands in front of her as she begins the haunting chant of her spell. We're all brought to our feet at Esther's will, rising like her hands in front of her.

The tears are falling freely as I shift my eyes back and forth between Stefan's face and the scene still playing on the wall, watching as Damon's face twists in agony while Klaus almost prances around him, poking him with large splinters from a broken coffee table. Then I can see my name on his lips, calling out to me and the sobs take over my body.

It doesn't take long, within a few minutes, Klaus' hybrid has collapsed on the floor and I'm certain he's dead. The end could be coming sooner than I expect and I'm not ready, though I've never been more sure of anything in my life.

"Stefan," I feel like I'm shouting as the air around us seems to be swirling and Esther's voice is ringing in my ears. "Tell him that I love him, that I'll always love him."

"You'll tell him yourself, Elena," Stefan's eyes plead with me. "You're not going to die, I won't let you die."

"Even you can't stop death," I can feel myself getting weaker and my knees buckle underneath me.

As I start to fade out I hear Stefan's voice, but he's not talking to me, "Take me, take all of me and leave her, Esther. I don't need to live but she does. Don't make it equal, use me up and just leave her, please."

It takes all I have in me to open my eyes, I look first to see Stefan's lifeless body on the floor next to me and then at the wall where I see Klaus is also on the ground, lastly I look at Damon who, despite all his wounds, is still alive. My love. My life. And I know it now, I know that love is enough.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: Sorry this is so long in coming… I'm loving your comments. Just reread the last chapter and I'm not completely in love with the dialog, but, what can you do.

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><p><em>It takes all I have in me to open my eyes, I look first to see Stefan's lifeless body on the floor next to me and then at the wall where I see Klaus is also on the ground, lastly I look at Damon who, despite all his wounds, is still alive. My love. My life. And I know it now, I know that love is enough.<em>

I close my eyes and will myself to stay alive. If Stefan is dead I know that at the very least I have to hold on until I can see Damon again, if he's alive as well. I can't leave him without both of us. We've had enough loss to go around, we can't all die on this night.

The reality of it all floods into my mind – raising more questions than ever – questions I can hardly focus on through the cloud that seems to be my mind. Can Klaus be dead? Can Damon have survived? What about Stefan, how can I explain this to Damon? What has even happened tonight; is it possible all of it is over? Will Esther let me go? What about Elijah or Rebekah, will they want revenge? What more can happen? The questions keep coming as I fade in and out of consciousness.

In my drifting, I hear more voices, sounding like they are coming from somewhere else. Some are shouting, some are cool and collected but none are the voice I'm aching to hear. Bonnie, Elijah, Caroline, Tyler, Alaric, Rebekah and others I don't recognize, but not Stefan and not Damon.

I feel cold and at the same time like every inch of me is on fire and completely out of control. There is nothing I can do about whatever is going on and despite my inability to move or open my eyes, I feel my mind continue to race, desperate for answers.

And then I hear it, at least I think I do, Damon's voice in my ear, whispering my name over and over like a prayer. And then I can let go, I can stop fighting to stay afloat and aware. The darkness completely sweeps in and I'm out.

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><p>The constant, steady beep of a machine is the first thing I hear when I wake up. Then the ever-familiar scent of "hospital" reaches my nose and I sigh, here I am again. I've spent far too much time in this place for my liking, maybe after this I'll never have to be here again – wishful thinking.<p>

"Elena, are you coming back to us?" I hear Bonnie's expectant voice and feel her hands on my shoulders, giving me a gentle shake.

I slowly open my eyes, thankful for the dimmed lights in the room. Bonnie is standing to the right of the bed and Caroline is on my left but other than my two friends, we are alone. I should feel elated to see them, to be alive, but I feel empty.

"Where is Damon?" He has to have made it, I heard his voice. "I heard him. He's alive, right?"

"Shhh, Elena, don't get worked up, your body can't take too much, the doctors said you were in shock and your body appeared to have gone through a great trauma but they couldn't explain what it was or how it happened," Caroline's voice is meant to calm but my heart monitor would indicate it is having the opposite effect. "And we weren't any good in explaining it ourselves."

"Caroline, Bonnie… answer me, where is Damon?" My voice is weak but firm as I glance back and forth between my friends' worried faces. "Just tell me."

"He's fine, at least he was," Caroline speaks up again. "He got you to the hospital and then said he had to take care of some things and we haven't seen him since."

Something about her voice tells me there's more to the story, "How long have I been out?"

"Five days," Bonnie finally speaks again. "They said you just needed time to heal. But I'm so glad to see you awake, you scared us!"

Five days. How is that even possible? It felt like minutes, maybe hours since I heard Damon's voice in my ear. How could he not have been here? Unless… "Klaus, what about Klaus, is he actually dead?"

"Yes, he's dead, Damon killed him. He said one minute Klaus was torturing him and then he stopped and dropped to the ground. Damon had managed to free himself and had been waiting for a chance to escape. And apparently he got it. He said he ripped Klaus' heart out, which I'm pretty sure he meant literally." Bonnie sounds very matter-of-fact about it all, "We don't know what happened to weaken Klaus so much but Damon saw the opportunity and took it, hoping it would work without something white oak-y. And it did. Klaus is dead, Damon said he cut off his head and burned his body just to be sure."

I'm surprisingly unphased by her description of Klaus' demise. But as her words sink, something she says surprises me, "Wait, what do you mean, you don't know what happened to weaken Klaus? How did you find me?"

"Ric got a call from a woman. She told him where to find you. We guessed it was whoever was in the coffin because she apologized for knocking Bonnie and her mom out. Damon got to the house just as we were leaving to find you." Caroline reaches to hold my hand as she continues, "It was out in the middle of the woods, miles from everything. You were on the floor in this room, barely alive. I was so scared, Elena. I gave you some of my blood but it didn't seem to do anything. Damon would have tried but he was hardly in a state to be helping anyone with blood. Elijah and Rebekah came shortly after we got there, like they were looking for something but you were the only thing there. They left us to get you out of there but were still snooping around for something."

"Wait, I was the only thing there? What about the others? What about Stefan? We were there together, I think he…" a sob rises in my throat and I try to choke it back. "Oh God, I think he's dead."

I see Bonnie and Caroline exchanged a look before Caroline continues. "When we got there, you were it, you and a bunch of candles. Clearly something had gone down because the air just felt intense, I can't explain it, but you were the only person we found – living or otherwise. Damon scooped you up, though I don't know how, he could barely stand after what Klaus put him through. We brought you to the hospital and you've been here ever since."

"I don't understand. None of this makes sense. Why would Damon…" My head feels foggy and I'm not sure if it's from what I've been through or from something they've given me here at the hospital.

Before I can ask anything, the door opens and a nurse comes in, "Ms. Gilbert, good to see you awake, we've been eager to see your eyes around here. Can I check your vitals?"

"Sure," I nod because it's not like I'm going to say no, no matter how much I won't want someone poking at me.

The nurse flits around the room, checking my monitors, taking my temperature and reading my blood pressure. She stops to ask me a few questions about my pain levels, how I'm feeling, etc… She's efficient and thankfully not overly chatty. She finishes up and assures us that everything is looking good and that a doctor will be in very soon to check me out, too.

As the door clicks closed behind her I turn my attention back to my friends, "So, what's going on? What aren't you telling me?"

"You need to rest, Elena and to stop worrying for a moment," Bonnie squeezes my arm.

"No, I need you guys to tell me what's going on… you heard the nurse, everything looks good. Just tell me."

We're interrupted again by the door swinging open and as promised the doctor has come to check on me.

"Ladies, I think our patient needs some more rest," His voice is nice but condescending. "Now that she's awake, I need her to remain calm while she recovers and her heart rate has been all over the place since she woke up. I think it's best if you give her some time. I'm going to give her a sedative to help her relax and get some more sleep."

"No, I don't want to sleep," I protest before I see both Bonnie and Caroline nodding in agreement.

"Elena, you need rest, this will all still be here when you wake up, nothing will be changed and we can talk about it then." Bonnie tries to placate me.

"Yeah, Elena, just sleep and get better." Caroline offers a weak smile as she turns to drab her discarded purse from the chair behind her. "We'll be back to see you later."

Bonnie and Caroline exit my room as the nurse comes in with a syringe in her hand. Uncapping it, she finds an input on my IV and empties the clear liquid into the tubing. I watch the IV, as if I could see the liquid flowing into my body. The doctor and nurse leave the room, pulling the door closed behind them and I'm left alone with thoughts swirling in my head. It doesn't take long for the medicine to take effect and within a few minutes I feel myself drifting off to sleep.

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><p>Who knows how much later, I wake with a start. The dark sky outside my window indicates it's now night time, hopefully the same day. I start to raise my hand to my face and feel resistance; I'm so out of it I hadn't even noticed someone was in the room with me. I glance down to see who it is and my heart soars seeing the dark hair atop the head that's resting against my hand. The head rises and Damon's eyes lock with mine, tiny blue oceans revealing a world of sadness. He looks nearly as bad as I feel, everything about him seems worn.<p>

"Elena," Damon breathes my name out, barely above a whisper. One hand is gripping the fingers of my left hand while the other reaches up to the side of my face, brushing back my hair.

"Hey, you're back."

"I never left, I just didn't want to hang out with anyone else, I've been here every night while you were sleeping. The girls thought Ric had the night shift, but he camped out in an empty room thanks to his doctor lady friend," Damon explains, his forehead impossibly wrinkled with worry.

"I couldn't believe you'd leave me again, you promised," I offer a half-hearted smile. "Are you okay? I saw what Klaus did to you."

"You saw, what do you mean," Damon winces at the memory of that night. "How?"

"Esther, Klaus and Elijah's mother had me, had us…" I swallow, thinking of Stefan, knowing the hardest part of our conversation is still coming. "She did some magic thing that allowed us to see where you and Klaus were. I was so scared for you, Damon, he was killing you."

"But he didn't," Damon gives me a tight-lipped, humorless grin. "I'm here. Which is more than I can say for my brother but then he died to save you, didn't he?"

"She, Esther, was using our lives to kill Klaus. She had Stefan and I, plus a hybrid and a werewolf, all the elements of Klaus since the blood of my ancestor was what turned him into a vampire to begin with. She said that she couldn't promise that she wouldn't kill all of us but it was necessary in order to weaken Klaus and to save you. He was killing you, Damon." I pause for a second before rushing on with my story, "Stefan wanted to wait, to find another solution but Esther said this was the only time since Klaus was already distracted with you and you were about to die – Klaus was tired of waiting around. The hybrid died first, as she had warned us and I was going to follow up pretty quickly, I wasn't as strong as the others but then, oh God, I heard Stefan tell her to take him, to take all of him and leave me."

The tears are flowing down both our cheeks as we look at each other in silence. Damon's the first one to speak, "He died to save you, ever the hero."

"I don't think he fully did it for me, he knew you couldn't lose me and he could see…" I swallow, before continuing, "He could see that you were the one I loved. The one I love. He did it for both of us, so we would have each other."

"Well, isn't that convenient, my saintly little brother comes through at the last minute. Perfect Hail Mary play," Damon sounds bitter instead of sad or thankful.

"What are you talking about, Damon, it wasn't some play. He saved my life and he saved yours. He died for us."

"No, he died for you, Elena. He gave the ultimate sacrifice for you, he's the better man."

"Damon, what exactly were you about to do with Klaus? You would have died rather than give him what he wanted. You have always been willing to die for me and now you're mad because Stefan beat you to the punch. Not to mention he did it just as much for you!" I try to breathe calmly, hearing the pace pick up on my heart monitor. "Don't be so stubborn!"

"Don't be so blind, Elena," Damon spits out. "My brother died to save you and it's only a matter of time before you start to feel guilty for loving me when he's the one who gave it all for you. Eventually you'll fall for the ghost of him."

"That's what you think? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" I don't even know where to begin to prove him wrong. I reach for his hand, pulling on it, tugging him closer to me.

"That's what I know," Damon sits on my bed, leaning forward so his arms are on either side of me, pressing into the bed at my hips. "Besides, a week ago you'd never even said that you loved me. It shouldn't be too hard to let me go."

"But that's just it, Damon, I do love you. You, not Stefan; whether or not he died for me, for you, or for both of us." I raise my hands to frame his face. "I love you, Damon Salvatore, I should have admitted it sooner, but don't hold my stupidity against me. Please."

His lips hover over mine, so close I can feel the breath I exhale being pushed back at me. His eyes are still glistening with tears and I wish I could do anything to keep his heart from hurting, to keep him from feel all this pain. His eyes close and he slips one of his arms behind me, pulling me to him, our lips finally meeting. But there is no passion in this kiss, not like the others that I've experienced with him. I run my fingers through his hair, hoping to ignite some spark in him. It does the trick and for an instant, the kiss deepens and our tongues come together and all seems right in my world again. But I can sense he's fighting with everything in him to not give in to his desires and I feel him pull away.

He whispers against my lips, "I can't, Elena, I can't lose both of you. I can't let my brother have died for nothing and he died because of his love for you, you just can't see that right now. But you will. He wins." Damon pulls back and stands up. "I won't leave you, Elena, but I can't love you. Not now, after all this. I can't do that to my brother."

And then he's gone and I can't say another thing. Can't tell him he's completely wrong. That this is not a game. Remind him that I am not a prize to be won. That his brother did die for nothing if we can't be together. That his misguided choices are ensuring that he loses both of us, he's the one who doesn't know it yet.

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><p>Sorry – I kind of meant to wrap this up but the story went a different direction – don't worry – I'm all Delena, all the way… I just want to serve the story.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: Thank you again for the kind comments.

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><p><em>And then he's gone and I can't say another thing. Can't tell him he's completely wrong. That this is not a game. Remind him that I am not a prize to be won. That his brother did die for nothing if we can't be together. That his misguided choices are ensuring that he loses both of us, he's the one who doesn't know it yet. <em>

There's nothing left for me to do but cry into my pillow. Even if I wasn't attached to all these machines and could run after him, there's no way I'd catch him. He's too fast and no doubt doesn't want me to talk him out of his path he's gone down. He's too stubborn for his own good and too set on depending on his own theory of things, his own truth. Katherine did a number on him, no doubt, but so did his father before that. Stefan's act of selflessness did nothing but further lessen Damon's own view of himself; for someone so cocky and arrogant, he really doesn't think much of himself. But then, he's spent nearly 150 years pissed off at his brother, in love with a woman who ended up not loving him back and shutting himself off to all other emotions. I get where he's coming from and I understand why he's so freaked out, and I can only hope I can find a way to convince him that loving me isn't going to cost him anything. That I'm not going to fall for Stefan because he's dead. I know full well that he died for both of us, now to convince Damon of that… easier said than done.

First step… getting out of this god-awful hospital room.

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><p>After another two days of observation and some compelling on Caroline's part, the doctor was willing to let me go home from the hospital. Caroline drove me straight home, ignoring my requests to go see Damon at the boarding house.<p>

"I did not break you out of the hospital only to end up driving you right back there when you get yourself all worked up talking to Damon." Caroline says as she pushes me back into my room at my third attempt to leave my bedroom. "Stay in there or I'll compel you, too!"

I reach for my necklace and notice it's missing, I can't recall seeing it in my things at the hospital either. Who knows where it's gone, maybe it's still in the room where Esther had us. My mind travels back to Stefan and I have to stop myself from going there, since Damon left me in the hospital, I've refused to let myself break down over it all. My heart aches for Stefan and it aches in a completely different way for Damon – both are lost to me, but only one of them coming back will allow me to heal and I'm so afraid that neither will come and I can't let myself feel it all, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop the emotions once they surface.

Caroline, Bonnie and Ric have been with me non-stop. Caroline bitches about Damon's selfishness, playing the role of the best friend who will always have my back, no matter what. Bonnie mothers me, making sure I get my pain meds and that I'm sleeping. But Ric is my favorite to have around. He keeps things light, even when referring to the seriousness of everything that has happened. He's the only one who will mention Stefan's name and who will tell me that Damon reverted back to his old ways, partying it up with sorority girls when he wasn't at the hospital with me at night. Alaric doesn't tell me to hurt me, but because he knows it means Damon is hurting more than he lets on and he's trying to shut off his emotions and he knows it's important that I know this so I know what I'm getting myself into. A Damon who is trying not to feel anything is a dangerous Damon, one who will hurt anyone and anything who tries to make him feel something real.

"You will see him soon enough," Caroline's referring to tonight when we've all decided to have a memorial for Stefan. We don't need to have his body to know he's dead, we all feel it, the loss and the heartache. And though Damon's been a permanent fixture at The Grille the last two days since I woke up, he's agreed to attend the memorial.

"Okay, I'm going to take a nap and then a shower, I need to get the hospital smell off of me."

Caroline scrunches up her nose, "I know, you do kind of smell like stale blood and well, other unpleasant things."

"Thanks."

I close my door and sigh. This day is just going to suck, there's no way around it.

"Dear Elena, what a pleasure to see you up and around," Esther's voice about causes me to jump out of my skin. "Sorry I had to run out on you, but I'm sure you can understand I didn't want to be around when my children came looking for me. I saw that Damon completed what we started so I knew it was safe to leave."

Esther sits on my bed, dressed in a much more updated outfit than the last time I saw her but looking prim, proper and still completely out of place in this era. The first thing I notice is that my necklace is hanging from her neck. Her hand raises to touch it as she notices my gaze. "It was my necklace to begin with, Elena, it seemed only right that I have it back. I regret that it was Stefan that gave it to you, I'm sure it would be nice to have a token of him."

"Yes," I hold her steely look with one of my own. "It would be nice. But then, nothing about this is nice. Aside from your son being dead, that is. My condolences on your loss."

"Insincerity isn't your thing, my dear," Esther clucks, "Besides, I've saved you from a lifetime of pain at my son's hands or a lifetime of running had you opted to go Katerina's route and had yourself turned into a vampire; we both know my son was one to hold a grudge. And as for nice, Stefan made his choice and he chose death, I did not choose it for him. Even if we had postponed what we were doing, Damon still would have died. One brother's life for another. That you got to live was just an unforeseen bonus with Stefan's death, at least for you. It appears that Damon's not thrilled with Stefan's way of doing things."

I ignore her taunting comment, "So, why are you here, Esther, I would have thought you'd be long gone by now, you got what you wanted."

"Indeed, I did. But I wanted to make certain you were safe and that you'd keep it our little secret what happened that night. It's also why I had to take the bodies, I couldn't leave anything behind that would clue my children in on my involvement and witches leave their mark on those they kill. My children suspect it was I who did this to their brother but I'm not ready to let them know I'm alive, I may never be ready. I don't have the heart to kill them, too, but I can't stand knowing what I've turned them into, what they've turned themselves into."

"You can't compel me, so what are you going to do?"

"I have something better than compulsion, Elena, don't you know anything about witches? Given the right amount of time and education, we're stronger than all the other supernatural things, we keep the balance."

"Because you created the imbalance by making your children vampires," I say sharply, backing against my bedroom door as I see her rising from the bed to approach me.

"Careful, Elena, I could kill you so very easily." Esther smiles dismissively, "I won't because that hardly seems fair given everything, but still, I could. I could also erase all your memories, or just the ones around what happened. You'd end up still in love with Stefan, only he'd be dead and you'd not be fully aware of how you opened yourself up to your love for Damon. I know these things and you'd never get him back then. You don't want that, do you?"

"No," I whisper. "I love him, please don't make me lose him."

"I won't, in fact, when I ensure your cooperation, making it so my children can't compel you to tell them the truth and so you can't say anything to them about me, I'm also going to give you a gift."

"What's that," I ask, my voice sounding far steadier than I actually feel.

"The spell to protect you from compulsion will also remove any compulsion you're already under."

"What do you mean? I've always been on vervain or wearing vervain since Stefan gave me that necklace, your necklace."

"Oh, not _always_, Elena, surely you remember losing this necklace before and then having it back but not knowing where it came from…" She pauses, waiting for me to recall and it hits me, I had been standing there in my room and my necklace was inexplicably back around my neck. At the time I had no idea where it had come from and for some reason I never really questioned it, so much other stuff had come crashing down around us at that time, I just kind of forgot about it. "Soon you'll remember the whole story, my dear, and you'll understand that much more."

"Understand what?"

"Love, which really is the only thing that matters in this life."

She doesn't say more to me directly, simple puts her hands on my head and recites a few lines of witchy chanting. And then she disappears, not vampire-disappears in a flash of speedy movement, but just vanishes from my room. I slump against my door, tears flowing down my face. I hold my head in my hands and just let myself be overcome by it all, the grief rolling over me in powerful waves. I don't know what I'm meant to remember now, but all I can feel is heartache for what I've lost. Everyone and everything.

After a while, I have nothing left and I drag myself into the shower, ready to start over for the day. Ready to say goodbye to Stefan. Ready to find a way to make Damon listen to me, to let himself love me.

* * *

><p>By the time I've dried my hair and applied some conservative makeup, it is time to get ready to leave. I find yet another black dress in my closet, vowing to never wear black again, praying I won't have a reason to for a very long time.<p>

I open my bedroom door, wondering if Caroline will let me come down without an escort. I hear hushed voices coming from downstairs, but once voice stands out as I approach the main level of my house, once I don't expect to hear.

Sitting in the couch with Caroline is Jeremy. And tears I thought I'd used up are once again springing from my eyes as I run toward him. He barely has time to stand before I throw my arms around him.

"Hey 'Lena, I hear you've had a rough couple of days, I thought you might like someone to hold your hand today," my brother squeezes me tightly. "Sorry I couldn't get here sooner, there was a snow storm in Denver and my flight got canceled yesterday."

I look to Ric, eyebrows raised, he shakes his head to indicate Jeremy still has no idea how we got him to leave in the first place, "I thought you'd appreciate a visit from your brother. He'll go back in a few days."

"Thanks, Ric, I _do_ appreciate it," I give Jeremy a final hug before letting him go, hoping I'll have the strength to see him off again in a few days. I turn to Caroline and give her what I hope is a convincing smile, "And thanks for making me stay home today, I feel better after a nap and a shower."

If she thinks I'm lying, she doesn't let on, "See, you know I'm always right. Besides, why give Damon the satisfaction of having you go after him."

"Caroline, that's not what this is about, and you know it," I warn. "He's hurting. His brother is dead. Stefan died saving both of us and Damon can't let himself off the hook from the guilt. I'm not going after him, but I'm not letting him continue believing he's doing the right thing by pushing me away by not loving me back."

"I think I missed something here," Jeremy looks more confused than normal. "Did you finally admit that you're in love with Damon?"

"What do you mean, 'finally admit'?"

"Please, Elena, the guy has been in love with you since the day he laid eyes on you and anyone would be blind not to see that you've fallen for him. You were just too caught up with Stefan to see it."

"Well, I see it now… boy, do I see it," I sigh. "But, timing and all…"

"And the fact that Damon's a douche who can't just let himself love someone back." Caroline throws her two cents into the conversation and I shoot her an evil look. "What, it's true, he's being unfair. He's being a martyr."

"He just thinks he's being realistic and can you blame him?" I'm quick to come to his defense, despite being the one who acutely feels the sting of his unfair rejection. "Cut him some slack, Stefan's dead and tonight is about saying goodbye to Stefan, Damon's brother. I can spend every night after this making him believe that I'm not going to change my mind or my heart about him."

"All right then," Ric moves in the direction of the front door, "Shall we go to another funeral? Or as I like to call them, Friday nights or, another reason for my alcohol problem."

"I've missed you, Ric," Jeremy gives our stand-in parent a jab to the stomach. "You always have such a way with words.

"I am a teacher, after all."

* * *

><p>Caroline has taken care of all the arrangements for the funeral and has even managed to get a tombstone erected over an empty grave on the Salvatore family plot. Stefan will be symbolically laid to rest in the space next to the joint headstone for his parents, finally at peace. It's just too bad we couldn't put his body in its rightful place, where it should have been buried a century ago.<p>

Damon is already at the cemetery when we arrive, a pretty, blond twenty-something hanging on his arm. I shouldn't be surprised to see he's brought a date, but seeing him with anyone still hurts, and despite knowing what he's up to, I feel a pang of jealousy. He whispers something in her ear as we approach and she dutifully goes and sits in one of the chairs that have been set up for our gathering.

Our eyes lock together but he quickly averts his gaze and directs his attention to my brother, "Little Gilbert, what brings you back to town? Tired of living a happy life already?"

"My sister needed me and someone had to be there for her," Jeremy brushes past Damon, bumping him roughly with his shoulder. His standing up for me makes the corner of my lip curl upward.

Caroline, Tyler and Bonnie walk past Damon, not giving him a second glance.

Ric stops in front of him and shakes his head, "At least you didn't have to change out your wardrobe much for the occasion."

"Ric, thanks for coming, I was worried we wouldn't meet our drunk quota but now we're golden."

"Gee, I prefer comfortably inebriated to the word drunk," Ric's voice is anything but light now. "Drunk is just so cliché, don't you think, Damon. Speaking of cliché, I'm sure your little sorority girl more than fills the quota for drunk _and_ stupid."

"Just stop you guys," I push myself between the two of them, putting a hand on each of their chests. "We're all friends here, let's not forget that. And we are here for a funeral."

"That's right, let's not forget Stefan," Damon's eyes fall down on mine, raising an eyebrow as he looks further down at the hand that's still on his chest. His own hand covers mine and then he lifts it off and returns it firmly to my side. My hand tingles from the momentary contact. "Ready to bid my baby bro farewell? Have you started to fall for him again?"

"Stop it, Damon, I'm not going to fall back in love with him, he's dead."

"Technically so was Katherine and that didn't stop me from loving her for 145 years." I narrow my eyes at his comparison and despite my resolve to not let him get to me or let his words hurt me. "Let's get started, shall we?"

Damon motions for me to join the others in sitting down as he moves to stand behind Stefan's tombstone, using it as a speaking podium.

"Thanks for joining me in celebrating my dear brother, Stefan Salvatore, or as I like to call him, the luckiest bastard I know."

"Damon…" Ric starts, his voice heavy with warning. "Play nice."

"What? I'm just speaking the truth. My brother was damn lucky. He had me for a big brother to always look out for him. He had our father's love until the moment he killed him. He had the unquestioning love of two women, one heartless bitch and one extraordinarily amazing woman." Damon looks at me as he pulls a flask from his jacket pocket and takes a long swig. "And he deserved it all. He was a good person. Sure, he had his moments, or his decades, but underneath it all he was good. He was deserving of the love he received. And he loved me, though I didn't deserve it."

Damon's words hit me like bullet and as I instinctively reach for my missing necklace for comfort, it all comes back to me. That night in my room, Damon returned my necklace; he'd been sitting in my room, waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom. He told me that he loved me, that he couldn't be selfish with me and that he didn't deserve me. That Stefan did deserve me. Esther had given me back that memory, a gift, as she called it. Damon had told me he loved me all that time ago and then fought endlessly to keep me safe and to bring Stefan back to me. Though I could not have known, I'm suddenly overcome with the guilt of it, knowing that I must have hurt Damon so deeply every time he looked at me, knowing I wasn't his; and though he knew I didn't remember, I'm sure he must have felt continually betrayed by my protestations of my love for Stefan. It's no wonder he's so quick to believe that I'll go back to that, that I'll go back to my love for Stefan.

Damon's voice brings be back from inside my head, "Let's all toast my brother, shall we?" And I'm confused because the blond is now standing next to him but my confusion is fleeting as I see Damon bend down, putting his mouth to her neck as his fangs descend into her flesh. He's pushing it now, clearly hoping to push us all away with this so-called toast.

"Damon, stop it! This is bullshit and you know it," I'm surprised to hear Jeremy's voice ring out as the rest of us sit in stunned silence. "Trying to pretend like you don't care is the easy way out and it's so selfish. Give it up, Damon."

Damon pushes the blond away from him and she stumbles back to her seat, two drops of blood beading up on her neck. "What makes you think I'm faking it? Maybe I've turned my emotions off again, maybe I just don't care about any of this anymore, _that_ would seem like the easy way. What better way to avoid the pain and inevitable heartbreak?"

"You think you have the market cornered on faking it? Please, you might be older than me by a dozen decades, but I have perfected faking it. And trust me, it doesn't work. You can't make yourself happy that way, I've tried; you can't forget what you've left behind. What do you think I've been doing in Colorado?"

"You've been having a happy life in Colorado, unless…" Damon's eyes narrow.

"Unless, I was already back on vervain when you compelled me to leave. I let you all believe that I was compelled because I wanted to get the hell out of this town, to get the hell away from everything that was going on. I just wanted a chance to live a normal life and I thought it was my chance but you know what? It was a candy-ass move to make. I didn't feel better or happier in Colorado, instead I felt like I let everyone down. I chickened out on sticking around and it was the most selfish thing I could have done. And it's what you're doing right now. You're being selfish and trying to hurt everyone in your quest to keep yourself from getting hurt. At least I was actually trying to keep myself alive, but you, you just seem like you're trying to keep from getting your feelings hurt." Jeremy stops his rant and turns to me. "I'm so sorry, Elena, I shouldn't have left you. You were just trying to keep me safe but I was supposed to be doing the same for you, no matter what we'd be facing, we should have faced it together. Because that's what you do when you love someone, you stick it out with them."

"Well, are you quite finished, Jeremy," Damon says, emphasizing each syllable in my brother's name. "You make a good point and I can see where you are headed so let me cut you off at the pass. It's true, you should stick around for those you love, but for once, I feel like I should stick by my brother. He loved your sister. He loved her so much that he died to save her life. What kind of person would I be if I swept in after he died and scooped her up to ride off into the sunset together? You said it yourself, Elena, sometimes love isn't enough. I think this might be a time when love just isn't enough."


	10. Chapter 10

It's about time I moved forward on this, considering it was started last season and so much as happened this season – apologies for the long wait!

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><p><em>"Well, are you quite finished, Jeremy," Damon says, emphasizing each syllable in my brother's name. "You make a good point and I can see where you are headed so let me cut you off at the pass. It's true, you should stick around for those you love, but for once, I feel like I should stick by my brother. He loved your sister. He loved her so much that he died to save her life. What kind of person would I be if I swept in after he died and scooped her up to ride off into the sunset together? You said it yourself, Elena, sometimes love isn't enough. I think this might be a time when love just isn't enough."<em>

His words tear through my heart, especially knowing they were mine to begin with. I tug on Jeremy's arm, pulling him back down next to me and giving him a look that says I'll discuss things with him later. I don't blame him at all for leaving and I hate that he feels guilty for wanting to escape all this… it's what I wanted for him when I had Damon compel him to go away.

When I turn my attention back to the memorial, Damon is already walking away, dragging the bewildered bimbo along beside him. Ric looks to me and starts to rise to follow him, I shake my head. For now, we need to let him go, we need to say our goodbyes to Stefan and then fix the things with those who remain.

Everyone is looking to me and I know I have to speak, I'm the only one who it makes sense to have talk. He died for me and I can't not say something in his memory.

I walk to take my place behind the tombstone, glancing one last time at Damon's retreating figure as I open my mouth to talk. Instead of words a small sob escapes my lips and I see Damon stop, back rigid. He's still listening. Knowing he'll hear my words, I continue, "There are no words that make this right. No words that can bring Stefan back so I won't try and do that. I won't try and make it right. But I will honor Stefan's memory by living my life, the life that he saved by giving up his own. By dying, he saved the two people he loved most, ultimately the person he loved most, his brother. For that I will always be grateful and I will never forget him but I will live my life as he intended, how he has allowed me to, by loving others, he certainly didn't die so I would hold onto his memory and turn him into a saint; he didn't want us pining after a dead person. Stefan died for love, for family and for himself – because he couldn't live with the alternative, literally. We can all learn from that example, love matters. The people we love matter. Who we are to each other is everything."

Even from a distance I can feel Damon's eyes on me as I stop talking. Caroline lets out a small cry and buries her head in Tyler's shoulder. Ric reaches over and pulls Jeremy to him as my brother holds tightly to Bonnie's hand. Matt sits to the side, quietly shedding his own tears for all the crap we've had to endure. I let myself look in Damon's direction once more, hoping he'll listen to my words and stop fighting against himself, stop punishing himself for something so out of his control; I can see his head shaking as he steps into his open car door. He might have listened, but I don't know if he really heard. But I won't let that stop me, not now and not in the future. I've only started this fight and I'm not going to give it up.

Damon's car roaring to life pulls us out of our haze and everyone else stands to join me. Caroline hands us each a silver-colored rose, and we file past Stefan's tombstone, placing them on the 'grave.' Our goodbyes have been said, out loud or in silence and there is nothing left to do but get one with life and whatever it brings.

* * *

><p>After a week, Caroline has finally decided I don't need her to chaperone me in my own house and has left me on my own. Ric, Jeremy and Bonnie are off playing pool and keeping Matt company at The Grille. I am alone for the first time since before the coffin was opened. Silence surrounds me as I sit on my bed, unsure of what to do next. There is no "big bad" waiting to pounce in the wings, at least none that I can imagine. We haven't heard from any of the Originals since the night Klaus died, though I'm sure they'll be back, Damon did ultimately kill their brother, whether or not he had supernatural help might not matter to them, time will tell. I don't know what to do with myself, what did I used to do when I had a moment to myself? When was the last time this happened? I truly cannot recall. And I can't imagine that come Monday I'm just supposed to go back to school and pretend like life is normal. That I'm a high school girl sitting through every mundane, boring class. And yet, this is my life.<p>

I look across my room and spy my journal… where would I even begin? "Dear Diary, You'll never believe the month I've had. It pretty much effing sucked. And then there's Damon… yes, Damon. I love him and he wants nothing to do with me. So there's that. XOXO Elena"

I laugh out loud, breaking the ever-deafening silence. I want to be with him. I should be with him right now. So what's stopping me? What exactly? Caroline isn't here to push me back into the house when I tell her I want to go to him and I take her absence as permission to leave the house.

Suddenly feeling stupid that I thought of doing anything else, I am on my feet and throwing a sweatshirt over my tank top as I head out the door. I'm halfway to the boarding house before it occurs to me that he might not be there or worse, that he could have company. But I can't not go to him. Can't not want to be with him.

The lights are on and his car is in the driveway when I pull up in front of the house. I step out of the car, the cool night air wrapping itself around me, making me shiver. I don't bother with knocking, he probably wouldn't answer if I did, and I walk into the house, ready to face whatever is waiting.

He's not in the great room, though a half-full glass of bourbon would indicate that he's not far away. I hear a thump from the second level of the house and I'm able to narrow down my search a bit. I pause at his bedroom door, giving it a quiet tap before I turn the knob. It's mostly dark inside but there is a small stretch of light is shining out from the bathroom that falls jaggedly across the bedroom floor. It's enough to see that his bed is empty, as is the rest of the room.

"Damon," I call out quietly, it feels strange to surprise him, though I can't imagine that he doesn't hear me coming. I cross the room to the bathroom doorway and find it empty as well. I glance around me, soaking up Damon's essence; his presence feels almost palpable in his personal space. Everything about his bedroom and bathroom is so very Damon. Dark, strong, stoic, timeless and breathtakingly beautiful. I close my eyes and lean against the doorframe separating the two rooms, perhaps I'll wait here until he returns.

Another thump, louder this time, makes my eyes fly open… it came from down the hallway, in the direction of Stefan's room. My feet don't even pause to listen to my head but seem to have a mind of their own as they rush me down to hall toward the sound, toward Damon.

Stefan's door is wide open, contents of the room strewn out into the hallway. Shirts, picture frames, books, candles and other various pieces of Stefan's life have found their way out, like they are trying to flee the scene. From inside the room I hear a crash, a table tips against a wall, its contents falling unceremoniously to the floor with several smaller thuds. It appears that Damon has entered the 'anger' stage of his grief.

I expect to be faced with rage and a venom-spewing Damon when I enter the room so I brace for the barrage as I cross the threshold, but instead I find him curled up on Stefan's bed, fists balled into the blankets, back to the doorway, the fight gone out of his body. He looks like a lost boy and again my feet don't pause as they bring me to him.

"Damon," I whisper as I reach out for the hand closest to me, squeezing it with all my might. I lift myself onto the bed and cover him as best I can with my body. His body tenses, unwilling to let me give it or him any comfort. "Damon, I'm here."

And then I feel it. The sob he's been holding in shakes his whole body and breaks my heart in two. My mind cannot grasp what he must be going through, the constant in his life being gone… his brother being lost to him after all they have been through. The sobs, now unleashed, don't stop and come in wave after wave, rocking us both with their power. To my credit, I hold it together and let him have his pain… in this moment I'm here for him, not to mourn his brother, I can have my tears later but now, it's his turn to lose himself in this unbearable sadness.

Time passes, I have no idea how much because it doesn't matter, there is no place else I need or want to be. Damon's fingers have loosened their grip on the blankets and he's brought them into his chest, one hand finding mine and pulling it close to him. I've tucked my free arm behind his head and have taken to stroking his hair away from his face. He has yet to open his eyes or look at me and when he does I hope my heart doesn't break again from the sadness I see there. But I know he will get through this, I've felt this grief so many times over and it isn't as endless as it seems to be in the beginning. It's always there but it changes, it ebbs and flows and it builds your character, but it doesn't hold you forever.

I can tell the moment the sadness of his grief loses its grip and flips the reins back over to anger, I feel Damon's entire being snap to attention, rigid with pure anger. Here it comes.

And come it does. In the flash of an eye I feel myself propelled across the room, slamming only slightly gently against the now-bare wall next to Stefan's bedroom door.

"What makes you think I want you here, Elena?" Damon's face is lined with veins and his eyes are vamped out. One arm is up against my head, while the other hand pushes against my stomach, holding me tight to the wall.

I was ready for this anger, more prepared for how to deal with this because I know for certain, he won't hurt me, he can't hurt me but that I can get through to him when he's like this, as I've done so many times before. Anger is his default, his comfort emotion. But it's how I know he's feeling and how I know that he can feel me and let me in.

"I didn't say you did, but I want to be here and I'm done with not doing what I want, it certainly hasn't done me any favors." I lift my chin and look into his darkened eyes. "You need me, I need you… we need each other."

"There's a difference between need and want, Elena." The hand next to my head, reaches over and strokes my hair. "I will always want you, but need… that is another story. I don't need anyone. I don't need anything."

"You're wrong, Damon, everyone needs something, or needs someone. You're just afraid to admit it. You think it makes you weak. You think it means you are less of a man to admit it. Or maybe you think that you don't deserve it now that Stef…"

Damon's hand leaves my hair and slams against the wall, "Don't say his name."

I reach my hand up and feather my fingers across his vein-lined cheeks, "Shhh… it's okay to say it. He wouldn't want this, Damon, he wouldn't want you to shut everyone out. He loved you so much. He wanted you to be happy. He thought I could make you happy. He wanted us to have each other, at the end, that's what he wanted, Damon. I know it's sick and dreadful and so beyond awful that this happened, but no matter how much time goes on, it doesn't change how I feel. Stop being selfish, Damon and let me love you. Love me back."

He glares at me as the words come out of my mouth, but the veins have receded from around his eyes and I know I'm getting through to him, that's he's hearing me. The feelings haven't been shut off.

"Damon, I love you…"

Again I'm flying, this time out of Stefan's room and for a minute I'm certain at the end of this flight I'll find myself out on the front lawn. Instead cushions hit my back as I'm tossed onto Damon's bed and surrounded by all of him – in body and everything else. His lips are on mine, not waiting for permission but just taking and giving, his tongue pushing past my teeth and stroking across mine.

His hips press against mine and I can feel all of him and I'd happily give him whatever he wants, damn the consequences and the bad timing… Damon and I are never going to have that perfect moment given to us, but we can make our own and to hell with anyone who judges us. The past year has been the longest foreplay and there's certainly no reason to think that tomorrow something new isn't going to stand in our way. If he wants to do this, I'm all in.

My hands come to life and I pull at the hem of his shirt, lifting it up over his head, tugging against his arms, practically growling at him to help me out. He gives me what I want, pulling my own sweatshirt and tank top off in the process, palms brushing against my breasts on the way up. In a flash my bra joins our shirts somewhere other than on the bed and his hands replace the lace fabric, followed quickly by his lips. I arch against him, digging my nails into his back, overcome with everything I'm feeling both physically and emotionally. Damon on a good day is often barely holding it together, in this moment it's all so overwhelming, this is nothing like anything I have ever experienced and tears are suddenly in my eyes, because I can't hold it all in anymore, my love for this man. Damon lifts his head and looks at me just as the tears spill over and instantly stops what he's doing.

"God, Elena, I'm sorry. We shouldn't… we shouldn't…" Damon's hands release me as he sits back on the bed. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's not…" I pause, unsure of exactly what to say and instead decide I just need to show him, just need to _do_. I sit up and pull his hand back to my chest so it is pressed over my heart, locking my eyes with his, I reach forward and lock my fingers behind his neck, dragging his lips back to mine and trapping his hand between us so he can feel my heart racing, so he can know that I want this more than anything. His hands pull against my hips, lifting me onto his lap and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, grinding into him and making him gasp. For the first time what feels like forever, we both smile. I release his lips long enough to murmur, "We totally should."

* * *

><p>So, was it worth the wait? I hope so.<p>

Don't worry – more coming soon…


	11. Chapter 11

So, anyone reading this? I'd love some feedback even though I know I have been horrible about updating.

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><p><em>I release his lips long enough to murmur, "We totally should."<em>

"Are you sure?" Damon's lips pause against mine. I find it ironic and slightly admirable that after all the sexual innuendos Damon has thrown my way and all the time he's spent pursuing me since he came to Mystic Falls that in this moment, he's the one taking the time to make sure this is okay to happen.

"I am absolutely certain, Damon," I frame his face with my hands. "As certain as I am that I love you with my whole heart."

Damon pulls his face back from mine, locking my eyes with his, looking for something – desperate to find the answer to an unasked question. But he doesn't say anything, just leans forward and pushes me back onto the bed, stretching his body out over mine. The hard muscles of his abdomen press against my stomach and my legs slide down his body, tangling intimately with his.

His lips roam my body, exploring every inch of bare skin, leaving a trail of fire behind them everywhere they go. I find myself making noises that would normally make me blush, but I cannot be bothered to care. It doesn't take long before my fingers find his waistband and make quick work of removing his belt but before I can undo the button and rid him of the offending garment, Damon's hands come to mine, drawing them up and over my head. His fingers twine with mine and then push them against the headboard – giving them a little extra pressure and I understand that he's wanting me to hold on. I raise my eyebrows at him but don't let go when he removes his hands from mine. I'm pretty sure I will do anything he asks of me at the moment, the proverbial putty in his all-too-capable hands.

He moves his hands slowly down the outside of my arms, then along the sides of my upper body, thumbs ever so slightly brushing against the outside and I cannot help but tremble. My desire for him feels like it is radiating out of my body. His fingertips reach the top of my pants, making quick work of the button and zipper; he slowly peels my jeans and panties down my legs, leaving me bare before him. My hands ache to touch him, but I leave them where they are, not wanting to cross him in any way and disturb his almost reverent treatment of my body.

He continues his exploration of with his lips along my lower extremities and it is the most exquisite feeling – the luxury of his mouth and the time we have together. I don't know how I'll ever want to spend my time doing anything else. My toes are literally curling when the warmth of him suddenly disappears; my eyes fly open, instantly anxious that he has changed his mind and flipped his mood again. But he's standing next to the bed, removing his pants and I shake my head as I note he goes commando, just as I always suspected.

"My God, you really are beautiful," I finally blush as the words come out of my mouth because of all the things to say…

Damon's eyes are the bluest I've ever seen them as they flit across my body. My arms involuntarily twitch with the pull to cover up some part of myself against his intense gaze. Damon speaks softly, as if knowing my insecurities, "Don't even think of hiding any part of yourself from me, you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen."

"Really?" I can't help but question, because let's face it, he's seen some bodies. "Not to be self-depreciating, but I highly doubt…"

"Unh-uh," Damon silences me with a narrowed eye and slight tilt of his head.

And before I can protest again, his hard, unyielding body is flush against mine, molding to it like they were made to go together. We fit together perfectly and for a moment, time does stand still until it doesn't and he is moving over me, around me, inside me and I am complete for the first time in my short life. I can only hope he feels the same way because there is no way I can imagine living my life without him now that we are here.

As he moves us together, one arm holding himself off the bed to keep from crushing me and the other wrapped tightly around my waist, taking me along with every push and pull – I search his face, pressing soft kisses to his temple, his cheeks and his un-opening eyes, whispering my love for him. My fingers finally give up their hold on the headboard and I wrap my arms around his head and shoulders, cradling him to me as we find our home.

* * *

><p>I waken later, feeling the weight of him pressing my body into his bed. I close my eyes, reveling in the memory of what has happened.<p>

His body stirs and I press a warm kiss to his closest stretch of skin, mouth meeting sinewy shoulder.

"Hi." I grin sheepishly as his head rises from the pillow next to mine.

"Hi, yourself," Damon rolls off me and onto his back. I move to snuggle in next to him but am disappointed as he continues his fluid movement, slipping off of the bed and crossing the room to the bathroom.

My mind races, searching for an explanation. I didn't really think Damon was the cuddling type, but I expected more than this.

And then it hits me, his words from earlier, 'There is a difference between need and want, Elena. I will always want you.'

Was that all this was, his wanting me? I was so lost in my feelings, in my love for him and my desire for this to happen that I failed to notice he never once said he loved me. He worshipped me, he called me gorgeous and he sure as hell wanted me, but he didn't say those three words. He still wasn't back to me; a part of him is still missing. A tear slips down my cheek as I wonder if he will ever let himself feel it all again.

But I cannot go down that path, I will not give up on him. I rise from the bed and follow him into the bathroom, not caring that I'm as naked as the day I was born.

Steam is already rising out of the shower where he stands, back to the doorway, drowning himself in the unforgiving, hot water. The glass walls leave nothing hidden, but for once I'm not sidetracked by admiring his flawless body.

I pause for a moment to consider my approach, whereas last night I was afraid of scaring him off, I think we're past that and I feel a wave of anger hit me as I realize how much his stubborn refusal to admit the obvious really and truly pisses me off. Yes, I think anger is a good tactic, it will fuel me and keep me from backing down. I'm not going to let him ruin what has happened between us – I am not wrong to love him and to know that somewhere in him, his love for me is waiting to be rediscovered.

I open the shower door and boldly walk inside, "Mind if I join you?"

"Be my guest. Nothing you haven't seen before."

And while seconds ago my resolve was strong enough to resist his pure sex appeal, in this close proximity with nothing between us but water and tension, that resolve is most definitely slipping. I give myself a mental face slap and power through. I firmly grasp his shoulder and spin him, forcing him to turn toward me. I scowl at the frown on his face and lock my eyes with his, raising my eyebrow in a way that mimics how he normally looks at me.

"Really, Damon, this is how you're going to be? Are you just going to treat me just like any other girl?"

"Well, you are a girl, are you not? I don't know what you want from me, Elena," Damon sighs. "I thought I was pretty… generous, given everything."

"You know what I mean," I poke him in the chest as I take a step closer to him, wanting to push him literally and figuratively. "We are more than sex. We are more than want. We are more."

I see a spark alight in his eyes and I almost allow myself to smile, there's the fight coming to life so I continue, hitting him with another poke of my finger, "Or, is that all you want? Just sex, just desire? Just screwing and that's it? Keep allowing yourself to be numb, to not feel, to just wallow. How pathetic, Damon. I wouldn't think you'd be so common, given how long you've been around."

His eyes grow darker as he grasps the wrist belonging to the hand that his poking him in the chest – a pesky fly he must quiet.

"You weren't complaining," he says through gritted teeth as he twists my arm behind my back and pulls my body against to his.

I lean in, pushing myself up onto my tip toes so my lips nearly brush against his, "Nope."

I make my lips pop with the "p" and push air against his mouth, another of his signature moves. He smirks in appreciation.

"So, Elena, what can I do for you?"

"Tell me what I need to know." I can't help but use his own words against him from that night in my room when he woke me up, but then I go back to my own. "Tell me that you know you're not better than me. That you know you're not better than Stefan. Tell me…"

A growl erupts from his throat at the mention of Stefan's name – I knew that bringing his brother up would be dangerous, but I need to play all my cards here – he backs me up against the shower wall. Anger, desire, confusion and sadness all war for dominance – showing their colors in his eyes. I wince as my arm scrapes against the stone behind me and I feel a stab of pain indicating I've sacrificed a piece of my flesh for this endeavor but I know he doesn't mean to hurt me despite the fact that I'm now bleeding.

He's barely containing himself and as soon as the scent of my blood reaches his nostrils, I see the veins pop to the surface and thread across his face. And even though common sense would tell me to be scared, I have no fear of this man, this beautiful, tormented man.

My mind springs on an idea and I shift my head to the side, exposing my neck to him, reaching my free hand up to pull my hair to the side.

"I love you." I state simply and I wait, not completely certain of what he will do but knowing this is the best chance I have to prove to him that he is who I know he is, the best man for me. The man who loves me and has my love in return.

An eternity seems to pass but it's only a few seconds before he leans in, veins still ablaze on his face and I use every ounce of my control to make myself relax, knowing that if I tense up, he will take that as an admission of fear and a sentencing of guilt.

But instead of a subtle, painful prick, I feel his lips caress my skin as he bends his head to my neck, kissing – not invading – the vein that is no doubt pulsing under my skin. He lifts his head back up and looks me in the eye as he slides his arms down and around my hips, lifting me up to meet him.

As we come together, our eyes never break contact even as the veins disappear from his face.

"I love you, Elena."

* * *

><p>Not sure if this is the end, but it just might be. What do you think? There's always more story to tell, more angles to take but I'd love to know that someone else would like to read it.<p> 


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